Thrust Into Insanity
by Ace-Of-Insanity
Summary: A crazy Pokemon Trainer yearns for a vacation, and soon finds herself stuck in the insanity known as Superjail! Soon deciding this wasn't the break she wanted, her Pokemon and her must find a way out. If there is one, that is. ON INDEFINITE HAITUS
1. Meeting the Master

_Hey all, and welcome to the little story I call Thrust Into Insanity, the first story I've really primped up for posting. In a summary, this tells the story of a Pokemon Trainer named Dana and the bizarre bunch of abominations that follow her around, as they get stuck in Superjail and try to find a way out. _

_At this point the first three chapters have been written, as you can see, this is only the first, the beginning of what I feel will be quite the journey~_

_So, yeah, enjoy my story._

* * *

**Thrust Into Insanity**

**By: Ace-Of-Rock (aka Dana)**

Boredom is a funny thing. It stalks silently, waiting for the right moment to strike. And when it does, you know. Oh, you know. The feeling latches right onto you, draining any amusement left in your mind until you're resigned to lying around like beached whale while you recover.

Why I am speaking of boredom in such a manner? I'll tell you in a minute. But first, let me introduce myself.

My name is Dana, 21-year-old Pokemon Trainer. Now, don't go getting images of happy-go-lucky morons who frolic about with their fat electric rodents, because I can tell you, I am **not** like that. I'm different. Very, very different. I don't roam around collecting little bottle caps that are poor excuses for gym badges. Sure, I'll battle and all, but it really gets old after about two or so consecutive sessions of creatures beating the ever-loving crap out of each other. I myself prefer Contests. It's a bit less painful, and _waaaaay _better for people watching.

Now, since I am Pokemon Trainer, I do have some of the little freaks of nature. Four of them in particular are my traveling companions.

First, there's Rex, a rather stubborn Lairon capable of using Rollout. The funny thing about him is that he won't evolve no matter what. Well, actually, he can't evolve. He once ate an Everstone. I don't mind, though. I already have an Aggron back home, and Rex is much more fun to hang out with than it is. He's a softie on the inside, really, but you have to get past the rough exterior.

Then there's my Skitty, Hibiscus. She's known for her odd, sharp claws. Don't ask me where she got them; I don't have the foggiest idea either. Hibiscus isn't exactly a Pokemon you want to piss off, though. She's attacked, oh, I don't know, at least seven people? I lost track after a while.

Kona, my Hawaiian Floatzel, is another companion. I often call him my "voice of reason", because that's just how he is. I have a terrible temper, but he can soothe it better than my other Pokemon can. He's just a happy, lovable sweetheart…. Well, with some pretty powerful attacks too.

Finally, there's Emily. She's a Weavile. A conniving, cynical Weavile with a knack for witty commentary and a love of blood. I've managed to befriend her, though (or came as close to it as possible) and now she hangs around with my caravan. I need to keep an eye on her, though. She likes to wander off and do… things.

Ahem. Well, that's pretty much all you need to know about myself and my Pokemon. Now, where was I…? Ah, yes. The subject of boredom.

This talk of tediousness I've been rambling off about derives from the fact it was the very feeling that was shrouding around me on this particular day. It was quite a nice day, actually, but I still felt dulled out.

"So _booooooored_," I groaned, lolling onto my side and staring at some small tears in my jeans. My Pokemon and I were supposed to be "having a little down time" from our adventures, but to be honest, I hated it. I liked action. And I was dieing for some of it right now.

Little did I know that soon we were gonna get that and then some.

"This is not down time," I snarled to no one in particular, and ran a hand through my thick brown hair, "This is 'Boredom Hour'." I heard some movement from behind me, and I sat back up. My Pokemon, who I had thought had been asleep, were looking at me.

"If I recall correctly, Dana," Rex said, before stretching and yawning, "You were the one who suggested Down Time in the first place."

"Yeah, why the sudden change in attitude?" Kona added.

"I remembered I didn't like down time," I finally said to them, getting up. I sighed and gazed at my little abominations. I could never figure out why Pokemon of any sort spoke English to me, instead of just repeating their names over and over again. Ah well. One of life's great mysteries. I shouldn't question it.

"Damn straight," Emily said, tearing me from her thoughts. She flexed her claws, "Let's get some action."

"Nah Na Na," Hibiscus agreed, speaking in the Skitty language she always used.

"I highly doubt we can find any action in this forest…" Rex pointed out. I shrugged, and reached into the pocket of the cream-colored hoodie I always wore.

"Something will come up. It has to. Nothing stays this quiet around us for this long," I replied, looking down at what I had retrieved. It was a necklace, one was a magnificent tear-shaped emerald for a centerpiece. The Emerald Tear. It was half of a two-stone piece called the Tear Gem, the other half being a ruby. Currently the ruby half was with a very dear friend of mine, one I hadn't seen in a while. I gotta remember to call him sometime…

Rubbing the emerald between my fingers, I felt its smooth texture. Nothing was out of the ordinary about it, just like everything else in my currently mundane life.

_Why can't you make something interesting happen? _I thought to it, _something to get us out of this rut. I mean it, anything! _Of course, the gem didn't answer back. It simply reflected the light streaming down onto it as it always did. I smiled slightly. It was small, but it was pretty.

Just then, though, the interesting event I had been willing to happen occurred. And it was what I least expected.

Out of the blue, this man shot out of the bushes, causing us all to snap to attention. In the seconds that followed I got a good look at him. The guy was pretty tall, but it looked like the greasy mass of black hair on his head made up for some of it. He had on a simple white shirt and blue jeans and I could see his arms were splattered with tattoos. He was gripping a filled sack of some sort. To be honest, the one thing that screamed in my mind when I saw him was "repeat offender". Seriously, the guy just looked some lowlife scumbag criminal.

And I quickly realized he was a lowlife scumbag criminal who had just stolen my Emerald Tear.

"Oh no he didn't," I snarled, looking at my bare hands. I had been so busy taking in his appearance that I failed to notice him ripping the gem out of my own hand!

"Oh yes he did," Emily said flatly, crawling onto my shoulder as the criminal guy began to flee. I growled, seeing the gem in his hand.

"That guy stole your emerald!" Kona yelped, the fur on the back of his neck bristling.

"Oh, really, I hadn't noticed!" I snapped at my Floatzel, "Now c'mon. I'm gonna get it back." Letting out a battle cry, I began pummeling forward. Hibiscus took her place on my other shoulder, and Rex and Kona quickly followed.

"Did you take into account that maybe this guy has a gun, Dana?" Rex said to me as I began to pick up speed, not letting Mr. Scumbag leave my sight.

"So what if he does?" was my only answer, and that was the end of that.

Suddenly, the guy broke into a run, as did we. The very thought he had the gems in his hands was enough to push me forward. Pretty soon we were about a foot behind him. Noticing he was being chased, the guy let out an alarmed cry like some sort of animal, and picked up speed.

But he wasn't going to get away from me, no way.

"Gimme me gems, you douchebag!" I shouted, and prepared to lunge at his back. I never got the chance, though, because the moment I said that something odd happened (well, I mean, something odder than the fact this guy appeared in the first place).

From out of a small nook in a nearby tree, something long and metallic shot out, grappling the criminal around his wrist and making him yelp. I squinted, seeing at the end of the length of metal was a steel claw of some sort, like the kind those stupid games at the arcade have. I didn't really dwell on where it came from much, though. Mainly because now the idiot crook couldn't move, and I could strike.

"This is for stealing my Tear Gem, you bastard!" I shrieked, running at him. A few moments later my fists made contact with his face as I punched him… repeatedly. He screamed in pain, dropping my emerald. Grinning, I kicked him in the groin once, before picking up the gem.

"Victory for the Dana," I said proudly, slipping the Emerald Tear around my neck.

"Now what do we do?" Rex asked. I pondered it for a moment, before coming to a conclusion.

"I'm gonna beat that guy up some more," I said matter-a-factly. My Pokemon groaned.

"Should've known…" my Lairon muttered.

So, after that I continued punching our little offender friend, paying no attention to the claw still gripping him. That, I'll admit, was a bit of a mistake.

About two minutes later, there was an explosion of bark and sticks as the tree the claw came out of exploded outward, revealing what was inside, the claw's owner. I, in mid-punch, blinked a few times, and I could almost feel the fearful air around the others.

Out of the tree came a robot of sorts. It was large and tombstone shaped, and ghostly white in color, save for a gray circle on its "chest". From the looks of things it had two compartments, one on each side, because the one of the left was open, and the claw arm was coming out of it. But what really caught my attention was its face. It was a simple dark screen on where its head should be, with a simple green emoticon. The face appeared devilishly happy right now.

I blinked again. To be perfectly honest, it appeared quite… cute.

The robot hovered over to where it gripped Mr. Criminal, eyeing him fiendishly. I didn't move, a bit in spite of myself. I wanted to see what would happen.

Suddenly, the robot lifted up the criminal and bashed him into a tree multiple times, still gripping him tightly as he screamed. At the end of it he looked quite battered.

As I watched this whole incident happen, I felt myself being yanked back by my Pokemon.

"Dana, get away from that thing!" Rex hissed at me. I glanced at him.

"Why should I? It wanted the guy, not us. Besides, it's freaking adorable!" I said. That last part came out a bit louder than I'd planned.

"It just attacked that man!"

"But it's _cuuuuute_."

"So is Hibiscus! And we all know she kills people!"

"Nyah Na Nah Nyah," Hibiscus concurred with my Lairon.

"Hibiscus is another story. That robot is cute, end of discussion," I snapped firmly. I was going to rant more, but suddenly Kona spoke up.

"Well, hopefully that little compliment will go over well," he squeaked. I blinked, and looked to see what he meant.

Indeed, I saw.

You see, what I saw was that large robot, now looking at us with a blank face, as if calculating something. Cautiously, I waved.

"Um… hi…?" I said quietly.

And as if those were the magic words, the robot's face appeared very happy, and it opened up its other compartment, firing out two claw-arms. The first latched onto my wrist, and my eyes widened. The second grabbed Kona, making him yelp.

"Nice going, Dana," Rex growled at me.

"I didn't know it would do this!" I shot back. I looked at the robot, which now had what appeared to be a propeller protruding from its head, and it was starting to spin. My eyes widened. It was taking us away, along with that scumbag!

"Shit," I said through gritted teeth.

"My words exactly," to my surprise, Emily was on still on my shoulder with Hibiscus. I gave her a look, "What? It didn't give all of us claws to hang onto."

I realized she had a point. The robot had only grappled Kona and I, the rest of my Pokemon were free. So, seeing as we were about to be dragged away to… somewhere, I told them to hang on.

"Okay, Rex, I'll hold you. Hibiscus, Emily, don't fall off," I said to them, "You okay Kona?"

"…just peachy," my Floatzel replied, trying to bite the claw off his wrist. I rolled my eyes, before using my free arm to grip Rex, grunting slightly from his weight.

Then, just as they were all safe and secure, the robot's little propeller began spinning, and it was soon off the ground, much to my surprise. Hell, that crazy machine could fly, despite the fact it looked about the same weight as a refrigerator!

At any rate, as the robot began to descend higher and higher, I thought a felt something slap me in the neck. When I turned to look, however, nothing was there. Shrugging, I just tried to enjoy the ride. And believe me, it was a bit hard.

Besides the fact being dragged along via my wrist was making it hurt like hell, but as were flying I was beginning to get the feeling we were anywhere near my home anymore. How could I tell? Well, as I drifted my gaze to the ground far below us, I was starting see… strange things. Really strange things. I'm talking otherworldly things. I swore I saw things like giant dancing food items, children getting flung into a meat grinder, and something that looked like it could pass for a Nightmare Chainsaw World.

But as I was about to find out, the weirdness was just warming up.

"Um… do you see those clouds?" Kona said timidly, pointing up ahead. I was almost afraid to look. But, wouldn't you have it, I did anyway.

There, forming ahead of us, were what appeared to be clouds. They were purple and gold, though. And they appeared to be forming a face.

"…that's not normal," Emily said bluntly. I bit my lip, before coming to the only conclusion I had. I let it out in a bit of an outburst.

"Gah! It's a portal to Hell, isn't it?!" I suddenly yelled, "Dammit, we're screwed! Screwed I tell you! SCREEEEWED!!!!" I continued yelling for quite a ways, before the robot suddenly dove into the Hell Clouds, causing a bright flash of light. We all screamed, and I shut my eyes tight.

Finally, after about a minute, I felt the lights clear, and I opened my eyes some. What was before us was… unexpected.

It looked like a volcano of sorts, a really big one. It was surrounded by a jungle. But that wasn't the bizarre part. That part was that there appeared to be a smaller volcano _in_ the big volcano. And on top of the smaller volcano looked like the top of a building. My jaw hung open.

"Whoa… what is this place?" Rex said in hushed tone as the robot floated nearer to the strange volcano world.

"I don't know," I replied, blinking slowly. Wherever it was, I could just sense that this place was just going to interesting. I could feel it.

All of a sudden, the robot gripping us took a very sharp turn, causing the arms holding me and my Pokemon to go slamming into a nearby rock wall. We made impact with it moments later, and then my world went black.

***

Some time later, I woozily opened my eyes a little bit. Where was I? And where were my friends? And why was the ground beneath me so soft and cushy?

Letting out a quiet groan, I tried to survey my location. From the looks of things I was on a plush carpet of sorts (explained the cushiness), and as I stared at it I could see it was some sort of psychedelic yellow. Turning my head slightly forward (I found I was laying on my belly) I could see what looked like a wood desk. Well, okay, there was my front view and my bottom view. Now I was trying to catch what was on my sides.

Turning my head slightly to the left (I wasn't trying to bring any attention to myself) I could happily see the forms of Rex and Emily, both passed out. I then glanced at my right side. There I could see my other two Pokemon. Fortunately, it appeared Hibiscus and Kona were closer to consciousness. I bit my tongue slightly. Okay, they were safe, that was one thing. But I still had one more question: where the hell was I?

And then I heard the voices.

"I just don't get it, Jared," the first voice, a male one, said. Just taking in those first words I could pick up an equation of insanity, curiosity, and just a dash of immaturity coming from the speaker. I listened harder as it continued, "I mean, why in the world would Jailbot bring a female here, let along a pack of all those other… things!"

It sounded annoyed. And I was too. Seriously, I was quite tempted to shoot up and snap at this guy, "Hey, buddy, they aren't 'things', alright? They're Pokemon, and they have feeling too." But I didn't. Instead, I dwelled on what he said.

Jailbot had to be the robot that had grappled us. If that was the case, we must be inside the building in the volcano. Quietly storing that information inside my mind, I continued to eavesdrop, waiting for the right moment to reveal that I wasn't passed out anymore.

"I d-don't know, sir! Jailbot simply brought them here along with Jacknife, and I thought it would be best to bring them here to you!" a new, very stressed out voice responded. I drew out more information. From what it sounded like, the stressed speaker was somewhat below the first speaker, the crazy one, like an employee below a boss. I also got out that the asshole that started this whole thing was named Jacknife.

Taking that in, I paused in my thoughts for a moment, reviewing what I learned so far. It seemed the robot's name was Jailbot, and it had brought that idiot criminal who stole my gems to this place. Suddenly, something dawned on me, and my eyes widened. I totally realized where we had to be, and why a robot would have such as name as Jailbot.

We had to be in some sort of high-security prison.

_Oh crap. Oh crap. Oooooh crap, _I thought to myself, _we're in a prison. A prison, dammit! I'm starting to feel that maybe this wasn't an accident after all… shit._

I admit it, I've been in the slammer once before. I don't really want to go in it. Let's just say I didn't enjoy it, and I've tried to avoid doing it again. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from doing a few things that are just a tad illegal… and the fact I hang around Emily has heightened my list of "crimes" quite a bit.

I swallowed slightly, and hoped to hell that my past wasn't coming back to bite me.

"I can get rid of them," a new, third voice bellowed. It was very deep and masculine. I gritted my teeth. I didn't really want to know how that "getting rid of" would occur.

_Now might not be a bad time to reveal myself, _I thought, glancing swiftly at my friends. They were still out. No worries, I could wake them up. At any rate, before anyone could agree to the deep-voice speaker's request, I let out a loud moan and struggled to get up.

"Hmm, I don't think getting rid of them be necessary," the first voice said, noting my movement, "It appears our little guests are waking up~!"

"Damn straight we are," I muttered as I got up, making sure to kick my companions as I arose. Soon I could hear them grumbling and getting up as well. Finally, after a minute, I was steady on my feet, and I could finally get a look at the speakers I'd been listening to, and the place we happened to be in.

And let me tell you this: I think my retinas nearly exploded from the blast of color that began striking them. To think I thought the yellow plush carpet was bad.

"Holy crap," Rex muttered, obviously taking everything in. I didn't blame him for that comment. The location we had found ourselves in was one that sucked up all my attention.

The first thing I noticed was we were in a room of sorts, like an office. But no offices I had been in looked like this. Aside from the aforementioned yellow carpet, the ceiling too was crazy. It looked like a freaking LSD planetarium with the swirly moons and stars and… the general acid-trip vibe. There was also a very large window behind the people who had been talking earlier (I still had yet to focus on them) that revealed the "outside" world. And it was _insane_. Huge buildings. Moving parts left and right. And so much freaking yellow! Somehow I was beginning to doubt this was a prison at all.

Heh, maybe I had just misinterpreted everything. It's not like that hasn't happened before.

Finally, when my eyesight adjusted to all the colors, I focused on the people before me. The second I locked on them, my eyes fell on the sight of one person primarily, and I was certain this was the crazy one.

"I didn't know Willy Wonka had a twin brother," I said under my breath. That was honestly the first thing that came to my mind.

This guy was tall and lanky, though I presume the purple top hat covering mussed black hair added to some of the length. To add to the purple palooza, his suit was violet too, offset only by a creamy yellow shirt and a magenta sash and bowtie. The man gazed at me through large yellow-tinted glasses. And even though that whole ensemble would probably look hideous on anyone else, it surprisingly worked well on this guy.

Suddenly, Mr. Purple's speaking tore me from my thoughts on his wardrobe.

"Well well, did you all have a nice little nap?" he asked, in that overly-cheerful tone that reminded me of child molesters. I let out a weak shutter.

"I suppose we did," I said quietly in response.

"Sir, what are we going to do with them all?!" that same stressed out voice piped up again, causing me to glance at its owner.

It was a short man, standing near the desk. He had what had to be the largest head I'd ever seen. Seriously, it was huge, and… vertical. Anyway, I noted he had a long brown mustache, the same color as his hair, and that he appeared to be having a panic attack. I smirked a little. He looked like the kind of guy Emily would prey on.

"Not now, Jared, I'm talking!" the crazy man hissed. I stood back to attention, keeping my eyes on all that purple. The short man, Jared, I guess that was his name, squeaked.

"So, um, now that we're up…" I stuttered, trying to both change the subject and find the right words for this. I was starting to get just the bit nervous around this guy. He was scaring me.

Fortunately, Rex stepped up to the plate and did the talking for me.

"Now that we're up, how's about you explain to us who you are and what our location is, Mr. Purple-Pants?" my Lairon questioned gruffly, trotting forward.

"Well, that's quite simple," the tall guy replied, not even bothering to look at Rex. He grinned, and I noted a large gap in his front teeth, "I am the Warden, and you're in Superjail, the greatest prison this side of Dimension 56-12!"

Well, any thoughts I had about misinterpreting everything just went right out the window. I had been right; this was a prison. And from the looks of what lay outside, it was a very, very disturbing prison. It was even in another damn _dimension _for crying out loud! We had crossed over into a different _dimension_! How was that possible?!

"Super_jail_, as in, we're in a prison?" Emily suddenly remarked. He voice startled me; I hadn't noticed that she and Hibiscus had crawled back onto my shoulder.

"Yep, it sure is," the Warden replied, "It's my wonderful little pride and joy." I blinked.

"You understood her?" I queried. I was the only one who understood Pokemon, and severely doubted the Warden spoke it fluently.

"…uh, yeah," he said, giving me an odd look.

"Oh, uh, okay," I stammered, trying to regain my composure. I still had no clue why my Pokemon suddenly being understood? That just wasn't normal! Well, as I was learning, it didn't seem anything here was normal…

Anyway, my thoughts were now racing harder than before. At least, they were, until Emily finally got the idea we were in the place where criminals go.

"We're in a prison… we're in a prison…" she repeated slowly and fearfully. Suddenly she yanked at my hair, "Dana, they found out about the bodies, didn't they?!?!" Eyes widening, I grabbed her and shut her mouth with my hand. The last thing I wanted was for that incident to be brought up here.

"Hrm, so, you're name's Dana?" the Warden abruptly asked me. I paused, still gripping my Weavile. Finally, I just dropped her to the ground and tried to look more confident.

"Yep, that's my name," I said, grinning slightly. I suppose it was as good a time as any to make the introductions, "I am Dana, and these are my friends, Rex, Hibiscus, Kona, and Emily." I pointed to each of my Pokemon comrades as I spoke their name.

"Fantabulous," the Warden said, "Well, you know who I am, I just said it. But these are my associates."

Out of the blue, he sprung up from his desk and twisted his body around towards the little guy standing nearby. And I literally mean he twisted it. As in, his body corkscrewed around into a spring shape, as easily as if he was a wet noodle. My jaw dropped slightly.

"That's a little freaky," Kona commented from my side.

"He should get that checked…" I said back. I couldn't really say anything else, for now the springy-Warden was introducing us to his people.

"This here is Jared, Superjail's one and only accountant," Warden said, motioning towards the short, panicky man. Jared waved very slightly. The Warden then spun around so that he somehow situated himself right behind me.

"Jared tends to freak out," he whispered, "Don't mind that." I shivered.

"It's… fine," I replied through gritted teeth, trying to figure out how this man could maneuver his body so. Now he was trotting behind us, to someone I hadn't noticed was there. I was kind of surprised I hadn't. This somebody was a woman, or, at least, I _think_ it was a woman. She looked awfully… manly, even with the pointy pink glasses and red ponytail. I noted a rather large bulge in the skirt of her security guard uniform.

"And this lovely creature here," the Warden said dreamily, "Is the beautiful, beautiful _Alice_." He drawled out "her" name like it was the greatest thing in world. Alice simply grunted in a very deep tone. I blinked, realized she must have been the one who had said they could get rid of us.

I decided that I didn't like Alice very much.

"Isn't she _wonderful_?" The Warden was addressing me. I blinked, realizing this question was about Alice.

"A real, um… flower," I stuttered, trying to choice my words carefully. My friends nodded. Just then, Rex spoke up.

"Where's the robot?" he asked, keen blue eyes clearly curious. The Warden's yellow-tinted eyes widened.

"You mean Jailbot, right?" he questioned. Rex nodded, a bit uncertainly, "Ah, of course. I can get him here." Warden whistled loudly, and it seemed to echo all over the place. Seconds later, there was a blast of plaster as Jailbot, the adorable robot that took us here, entered. His emoticon turned happy at the sight of us.

"Jailbot here is a fighting machine," Warden explained as he walked back to his desk, "He's capable of just about anything." As if on cue, Jailbot opened up both his compartments, and various metal tentacles slithered out. Most were tipped with guns and chainsaws and the like, but a few were the claws I was familiar with.

"Nyah Na Nah," Hibiscus said, leaping off my shoulder onto one of the claw arms. Jailbot withdrew the other limbs, and inquisitively watched as my Skitty scurried up the arm and onto the robot's "head".

"Nah Na Nah Nyah Na," Hibiscus chirped, though I couldn't tell if it was directed at me, Jailbot, or the Warden. Either way, Jailbot must have decided Hibiscus wasn't going to do anything, and he simply appeared content she had taken interest in his metal head.

"Uh, so, is this just some of your staff?" I asked the Warden politely. He laughed giddily.

"Actually, no, we're about it," he said. We all blinked.

"You run this giant prison with only four employees?!" Kona interjected, eyes widening with wonder.

"Sometimes five," Warden corrected, "We have a doctor you know."

"That's insane…" Rex muttered. The Warden flashed a grin.

"Thanks," he bubbled.

"Uh, so… if that robot is capable of anything," I chimed in, "I'm assuming that includes dragging us here?" To my surprise, the Warden's features lose their glee for the moment. In fact, he almost looked annoyed.

Yes, it includes that," he said irritably, "To be honest; we're still trying to figure out why Jailbot brought you all here in the first place. Trust me, it's not everyday such a large batch of… things are brought here, especially when some of them are _female_."

"Excuse me?" I said bluntly, a bit offended.

"Woman are quite a rare sight here in Superjail," Jared said, trying to handle the subject himself, "Aside from Alice, I mean."

_That thing's not a woman though, _I wanted to say. Instead, I focused on this whole matter. From the looks of things, we weren't exactly a welcome party here. I mean, that Warden guy may have sounded welcoming at first, but I could see it was falling away fast. So, I decided to do the one thing that might help the situation: ask to leave.

"Well, alright. I can see we're not welcome here in this humble little place," I said calmly, entrancing my fingers, "It's really been great and all, but I guess we should just be taken back to our home. It'd be best for all of us, really. So, if Jailbot could just take us back…"

"That's just it," the Warden interrupted me, "You can't leave."

"WHAT?!" my friends and I screamed at the same time.

"Whatdaya mean we can't just leave?!" Emily yelped.

"Nobody can really leave Superjail," the Warden enlightened, "Well, not without special measures anyway."

"What kind of special measures?" I demanded.

"If I told you, they wouldn't be special," he replied, grinning slightly.

"But if we can't leave, what are we suppose to do? Stay here?!" I exclaimed.

"I guess so," the Warden shrugged.

"How long are we gonna be stuck here?!" Rex barked.

"I dunno," he shrugged again, "Eternity?"

"That's a little long…" Emily pointed out. I let out a very agitated groan, and pulled at my hair.

"So lemme get this straight," I said, slowly losing my temper, "We're stuck here for all eternity, and yet you don't even like us?"

"I suppose that's about right," the Warden replied.

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"A lot of things don't make sense here, m'dear. Ya get used to it."

"So, um, is there anything we can do while we stay here?" Kona questioned. His tail twitched eagerly. The Warden scrunched up his features, and thought deeply. I could sense the air tensing as he made his decision.

"I… don't know!" he declared. Well, that was sad.

"Is it really that hard? This place is huge. There's gotta be something," I queried bitterly. My question was ignored.

"…well, if we can't do anything, are we just suppose to wait here?" Rex said. The Wonka clone answered more quickly this time.

"Of course not. You'd be taking up a bunch of space," he replied. I facepalmed, "Jared, how about you show our guests to where they'll be staying here in my wonderful world? It's where the rest of the quarters are."

"How can you already have a room set up for us?" Emily wondered aloud.

"I control everything here," Warden said in boredom, "My own little world of wonder…"

"Um, _okaaaay_," I said, "Can we just get shown where we're staying?" Again, my question was ignored. It seemed like the Warden had gone into some kind of weird day-dreamy state.

"Come along, I'll show you," Jared interrupted my thoughts, and I turned. He was already almost out the door. Nodding, my friends and I followed. As I headed for the door, I took care as to not be anywhere near Alice. "She" scared me more than anyone really should.

"Nah Nyah Na," Hibiscus muttered, leaping off Jailbot's head onto my shoulder. The large robot looked sad that we were leaving. Smiling slightly, I patted his metal side.

"You really are quite cute," I told him. The seemed to cheer him up, for his emoticon turned happy. I was a little bit frightened that he might try to hug me with his claws of his, but it never happened. I chuckled, before running over to join the rest of my crew.

Once outside the door, I could see were in what looked like a gargantuan hallway. It didn't seem to end in either direction.

_Well isn't this just peachy? _I thought, calculating my chances of getting lost in this place. They were high.

I sighed. This was not the kind of action I had wanted.

* * *

_So, what da you think? Dana and her Pokemon appear quite unsure of what's ahead of them, and they have quite the right for that. Trust me, tensions will start to flare between betwen Dana and the fellow citizens of Superjail._

_Hmm... well, not much else to say for this first part, save for the fact Jailbot is fun to write for. i love that giant floating refridgerator. :3_

_Read, review, and all that good stuff now. Makes me happeh. ;D_


	2. A Self Guided Tour From Hell

_Whoop, and here's chapter two for you, readers. Not a lot of Warden action in this one, sadly, but I promise he'll be back in the very near future~! For now, though, this is basically when Dana tries to get her bearings of Superjail, but as one can imagine, that's kinda... um, difficult, with the place in question. _

_Anyway, here's number two, and I hope you like it. 8D _

_...Ah, yes, I forgot to add this last chapter: I don't own Superjail or Pokemon... quite sad, really. All I have is Dana and the characters of her Pokemon._

* * *

"I take it the Warden's not a very modest fellow?" I asked Jared as we were taken to our 'quarters'. To pass the time, I was looking out whatever windows we passed, seeing whatever could be classified as the outside world. And from what I could see, this Superjail place really was the Warden's world. It seemed nearly all the buildings were shaped like his head, top hat and all. It was insane.

"He has his… quirks," Jared replied cautiously. I titled my head, wondering if the Warden could hear everything uttered in his utopia. I hoped not, because I know I'd being doing some blaspheming about him once we were in our room.

"I can't believe this place is a prison," Kona mused, "It's so… crazy." He stopped to look out a window, and I did the same. It looked like some sort of happy-rainbow land out there.

"Is that a dinosaur?" I said in shock.

"Looks like it," Kona replied. Shaking my head in slight worry, I caught up with the rest of my Pokemon, who were a few paces behind Jared.

"You know what else is crazy?" Rex said to me, "The fact it seems we can be understood fluently here." I nodded.

"I have no clue why, either," I said, "The only guess I have is that maybe the change in dimension did something to your voice boxes."

"Meh, it's fine with me," Emily chimed in, "I quite like having my insults be heard." I rolled my eyes in response.

"Ah, here we are," Suddenly, Jared stopped before a rather plain door. I looked further down the hallway, seeing more doors dotted along the expanse. The short account opened up the door before us, pushing it open. My friends and I slithered inside.

And let me tell you this: I was a bit annoyed at the sight of where we'd be staying.

"This looks like a cubicle," I snarled. It was true. The room was very small and painted wide, so very different from what was outside. One lone gray lounge bed sat in the corner. There was also a table across from it, white as well. The only other rooms attached was what looked like a small bathroom on one side.

"This is it?" Rex said, "Good God, this is depressing."

"Are you sure the Warden didn't mix us up with one of the inmates?" I snapped at Jared. He started to sweat.

"Don't bl-blame me," he stuttered, "I don't know why the Warden choose this!" I growled slightly, and he squeaked.

"Uh, hey, Jared, why don't you go tell the Warden we're safe and sound in new room?" Kona said to Jared, obviously noticing how I was going to bite the accountants head off any minute. Jared seemed to get the hint and he nodded.

"Of c-course, I'll tell him right away," he said, heading out the door. A few moments later, and he was out of there.

Once he was gone, I slumped down on the bed and sighed.

"This has got to be the crappiest vacation ever," I moaned.

"Hey, it's your fault we're here anyway," Emily murmured, crawling atop the table.

"How is my fault?" I growled.

"You must have provoked the robot into grabbing us or something," my Weavile replied, before curling up and falling asleep. Moaning, I rubbed my temples.

_When I asked for something interesting, I didn't mean this_, I thought angrily.

"Well, what should we do now?" Kona asked, "I don't think there's much here, in this excuse for a room."

"No duh, Kona," I muttered, before shrugging, "I dunno… I guess we could explore or something."

"Isn't this insane prison a little big to explore?" Rex pointed out.

"That hasn't stopped us before," I shot back.

"You go ahead, Dana," Kona said, "Maybe we'll go exploring ourselves a little later."

"Nah Nyah," Hibiscus agreed. Sighing irritably, I stood up.

"Fine," I said, "But if I find something cool, it's your fault for missing it." I headed for the door. Just before I opened it, though, something crossed my mind, "One more thing, you guys."

"What's up?" Rex asked.

"Try not to use your attacks," I said, "This place is weird enough, and I don't want Mr. Crazy Warden asking questions, okay?" My Pokemon nodded. Pleased, I grinned to them, and headed out the door to explore.

Slipping outside and slamming the door behind me, I looked around. Where should I begin? Those other doors in the hall looked interesting… but, with my luck, I'd get caught snooping around and God-only-knows what would happen then. So, I decided to just head down the hallway and see what I could find.

And so I walked. To be honest, nothing was really invoking my interest. This was just a boring hallway, a door coming up every now and then. But nothing that looked like the craziness outside.

I paused. The craziness outside; that was it! There had to be a door or something that led outside, right?

"Come out; come out, outside door…" I muttered as I looked around. Suddenly, the hallway I was in split in two, a fork in the path. I bit my lip, figuring out which way was best.

"Let's try… the right," I decided after a moment, walking down the right path.

The second I did so, I found myself in what looked like a dark elevator. I blinked. Okay, this was odd. How the hell did I wind up here?

"Stupid, stupid Superjail," I cursed quietly. It looked like this bizarre place randomly changed itself every so often. Well, wasn't that just great? I wish one of my Pokemon HAD came along with me.

Just then the lights on the elevator switched on, as if willing me to push them. I looked, and my jaw dropped. There had to be at least fifty damn buttons on this thing, all of them with different labels! Squinting, I stepped closer to read them. That didn't help very much. Most of them were labeled with random crap that I didn't think could be places.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" I snarled as I scanned them. Seriously, this whole thing was starting to become stupidly surreal. If I was lucky maybe I'd wake up in a few minutes.

Finally, I saw a button on the elevator that actual made sense: Cellblock 742. And though I didn't want to admit it, it was probably the only choice I had.

"I am so gonna regret this later," I groaned, slapping the button. Moments after my finger impacted the button, I was already regretting it.

The elevator shot downward at extreme speed, and I screamed, clinging to its side like a frightened cat. Even the goddamn elevators in this place were insane!

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," I breathed as the elevator shot sideways and then straight down again. For a moment I felt like my stomach and liver switched places, and I began shouting out loud streams of obscenities at the crazy Willy Wonka stunt double that ran this joint.

Abruptly, however, my elevator stopped short, making me crash to its floor. With a light ding, doors I hadn't even noticed before opened up, revealing a path to the place I had chosen. Continuing to swear under my breath, I slithered out and began regretting once again.

Cellblock 742 was just how I imagined it would be: loud and outrageous. I was barely in the large prison block before I heard the screaming voices of violent, wild, incarcerated men. Rolling my eyes, I trudged forward. My appearance oughta shock 'em.

It did. Oh, how it did. No sooner had I made my way through the narrow hallways between cells of orange-clad miscreants did I start hearing the calls and the wolf whistles and the 'hey, baby's!' Pfft, like these guys thought they even had a chance with me.

Keeping close to the middle of the hall so I could avoid getting my ass grabbed or something, I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. This cellblock didn't look very out of the ordinary from any other one. No rainbows, no vibrant colors, no ponies, there just the dull gray of metal and concrete. My only idea as to why this was like this was simply that maybe this helped the prisoners from completely losing what little sanity they had.

Musing on that thought for the moment, I suddenly heard what sounded like the chirping of a bird. I stopped short.

"Okay, I've been here for, like, thirty minutes and my miniscule amount of sanity I have left has already curled up and died," I said to myself, coming to the only conclusion I had, "Now I'm hearing chirping birds."

Just then, I heard the chirping again. I looked around, frantically trying to find the source. It had sounded closer this time. Finally, the tweeting let out once more, and I felt something land on my head.

Raising a finger up to my hair, I checked to see what had hit me. Sure enough, there was a slight fluttering sound and whatever was on my head was now on my finger. I looked upward, and found my chirping source.

It was bird alright, and it looked like a canary of sorts. It was small, but just from the look it had in its ticked-looking eyes I could tell it had a big attitude. Cautiously I reached over to scratch it on the fluffy feathered head, praying it wouldn't bite me or anything.

"Um, hey there," I said, though it was sort of drowned out by the screaming of the prisoners, "Were you the one chirping?"

The bird twittered a reply, and I understood it immediately. It told me "well, you don't see any other birds around here, do you?"

_Must be like how I get what Hibiscus is saying_, I thought.

"Point taken," I replied, snickering slightly, "So, uh, are you an inmate here?" I got more chirping in response.

"You and your keeper?" I said, looking about for anyone who looked like they'd take an interest in birds. The bird abruptly took off of my finger and over to a nearby cell, as if reading my mind. Biting my lip, I followed it, trying not to get raped in the process.

In the cell the bird brought me to be a man who looked oddly out of place in the whole prison scheme. He had modest black hair and shiny glasses with glare that hid his eyes. There was also some fat cellmate behind him asleep on a bunk, but I tried to avoid looking at that horrible creature.

"Oh, okay," I said to the bird, which was perched on one of the bars, "This is your keeper?"

The bird whistled.

"Huh, alright, Gary, you said it was?" I said, glancing at the man with glasses. He nodded mutely. I smiled slightly, and glanced at the bird, "And what do you call yourself?"

More tweeting poured out of its beak. I blinked slightly.

"Oh… Bird… your name is Bird? Gee, isn't that original?" I muttered. Hearing me, Bird hopped over and promptly bit my finger.

"OW! What the hell, Bird, that freaking hurt!" I snapped, clutching my wounded finger. Bird just gave a mocking chirp to me. I glared at it. Actually, by now I had figured out Bird was, in fact, female, so I was technically glaring at a 'she'.

Anyway, after a few minutes of letting the pulsating pain in my finger pass (and apologizing to Bird), I at last got a chance to introduce myself.

"I'm Dana," I presented myself; "My friends and I are being held captive here. So, in a way, I'm a prisoner here myself." Bird chirruped in understanding, "Yeah… pretty much right now I'm just wandering around and trying to get my bearings." Hearing that, Bird fluttered onto my shoulder, and suddenly began twittering out several places that she thought I'd like. I nodded at each one.

"Interesting… interesting… ooh, a bar… say, how do you know about all these places?" I asked, mentally remembering to check all these places out.

Bird tweeted: 'oh, I get around.' I raised an eyebrow at that.

"Oh, do you?" I said to her cheekily.

Bird sang out a harsh note: 'Not that way, smart one.' I laughed, before going back to the matter at hand.

"All these places you're telling me about sound fascinating," I said, realizing I probably should get moving if I wanted to check all these places out, "Alright, now… I guess I should be going. The noise here is starting to get to me. See ya around Bird, Gary."

Bird ruffled her feathers slightly and whistled, while Gary just nodded. I returned it with a grin, before quickly scurrying out of Cellblock 742 as fast as I could. No matter what, those other big muscled guys in there scared the crap out of me.

Soon I found myself at the end of the long unit of cells, much to my delight. However, my joy was quickly diminished as I found myself in yet another long blank hallway. I sucked in some air.

"Alright, where was the first place Bird said was cool? Some sort of secret underground lab…" I muttered, looking about for any sort of path that might lead to that. Because a secret underground lab sounds _so _easy to find.

I couldn't find a new path, but every so often I found a door dotted along the hallway. Of course, I being my curious self, I had to open it. This usually led to more regrets. Trust me, behind so of those doors were things I don't think I'll ever be able to _un_see…

_I've gotta get outside_, I thought to myself as I went along my self-guided tour, _maybe out there I can get my location straightened out. _

I looked about for anything that might lead to outer side of Superjail. But I saw nothing except the corridor I was already in. To be honest, I was beginning to feel this hallway would never end.

I stopped short suddenly. Maybe that was it! Maybe this hallway _was_ never-ending! Considering the rest of the craziness in this place, a never-ending passageway seemed quite fitting. Of course, I had to be the one stuck in it.

"I'll just go through the next door I see," I decided as I picked up speed, "Yeah, that's it. It might be terrifying, but at least there's a chance I can get out of there." So that was that. Fortunately, coming up on my right was another door. I clenched my fist. That would be my escape from the Hallway of Endlessness.

"Outside here I come," I said, stopping before the simple wooden door. I grappled its cool metal handle, and without further ado, turned and opened it. Just before I jumped in, I prayed that this path would lead me outdoors.

***

Well, the good news was that door did lead me outside.

The bad news was it was not in the way I had wanted.

You see, I was currently dangling from the edge of one of Superjail's gigantic Warden-shaped buildings, trying with all my might not to let go and fall to my doom. And for the life of me, I still had no clue how I wound up here. One minute I was going through the doorway, the next I was hanging onto structure and trying not to die.

"This place makes no goddamn sense…" I muttered as I struggled to lift myself up. At least from where I was swaying there was a little lip I could stand on once I got up there.

If I got up there at all, that is. Every now and then I made the mistake of looking down, and seeing just how far a drop it was. And it was far.

"Just a little more… got it!" Finally, I managed to crawl up onto the thin lip. Breathlessly, I struggled to stand, and promised myself not to look down again.

_Well, that's that_, I thought as I started to regain my breath_, now I just have to figure a way back in. _That had to be easier said than done. The outcropping I was on went all the way around the rounded top of the building, and it could take me a while to shuffle along it looking for a window or something.

_What other choice do you have, Dana? _That thought hit the nail right on the head. I couldn't really do anything else. So, shuffle around it was.

Stepping as gently as I could, I began to walk with my back against the wall, watching for anything that could let me back in. And so far I wasn't really getting anything. The golden steel of the wall was flat as ever.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted, and it almost sounded like I was addressing the building itself, "I managed to get up here without dieing, now cut me some slack, dammit!" I let out an exasperated sigh after my outburst. Yelling at the building was not going to work at all.

Suddenly, though, I almost believed it did. As I shuffled along, something protruding from the wall appeared. It was a window. My eyes widened, and I picked up some speed.

That was my ticket back inside.

"Thank you," I felt a bit stupid thanking the building, but hell, for all I known they might be alive in the world or something. Either way, when I reached the window I could almost hear choruses of angels cheering. Now all I had to do was get back.

"Well, that's easy enough," I said. Situating myself in front of the window, I clenched my fists and prepared to punch. I grinned. Well, I had wanted to release my pent-up rage at the Warden anyway.

"This is for holding us against our will!!" I roared, and with one swift movement, swung my fist at the window. Unfortunately, it didn't break. It just cracked a little bit. I bit my lip, and gripped my slightly wounded hand. Maybe I needed to be a bit angrier.

"Um… okay, this is for giving us a room that could pass off for a cubicle!" I shrieked, before punching the window again. Still nothing. I narrowed my eyes.

"C'mon, window, you let me find you, so how about you let me in?" I said, going back to the "let's talk to inanimate objects" method. Again, though, it didn't speak to me in any way. I rolled my eyes. Maybe I should just punch it again and hope for the best.

"Alright, what else can I scream about the Warden…" I thought aloud, staring off into space for a moment. Finally, I got an idea. A rather stupid one, but an idea nonetheless.

"Okay… this here is for the overuse of purple!" I shouted, and before cranking back and my fist and thrusting it at the window. It shattered on impact. I beamed to myself.

"Well, it's about time," I said firmly, before knocking out the pieces of glass still stuck into the window frame.

Once it was clear, I slithered in through the empty frame after the glass stopped falling. Careful not to step on the shards, I hit the hard ground beneath the window, and let in a prideful sigh. That punch had felt good.

"Okay, now where am I?" I said to myself, looking about. I was in a small hallway now, one that actually ending. One side stopped with a simple wall, the other with a door. I swallowed. That was my one way to continue.

"Here goes nothing," I said, trotting to the door. God, I hoped I wouldn't end up inside the lava of the volcano this place rested on, or in the middle of an ocean of cola, or something horrible like that. In fact, seeing as I was starting to get a bit beat, I actually hoped it would drop me off nearby the room I was supposed to stay in.

"Only one way to find out," I concluded, and grabbed the doorknob. Thrusting it open, I cautiously stepped into this new room.

Fortunately, I wasn't outside again. But I also wasn't by my quarters either. In fact, it appeared that I was inside one of the maximum security wings of this prison. At least, that was the general idea I derived from the extremely sturdy looking doors and dark vibe I got.

But from the looks of things, this was the only way to get to next exit. Maybe if I moved quickly I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

"Just keep moving. That's it…" I told myself, skating along as fast as I could. I could already see the door out of here a little ways away. Just a bit more and I'd be there.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing down here?" a deep voice that sounded like it arose from the bowels of Hell itself emanated from my left. I froze, recognizing the voice.

"Alice," I said very quietly, and shivered. Of all the people to run into…

I turned slightly so I could make out where 'she' was. The burly guard had been in a corridor I hadn't noticed as I was scurrying to the exit. It looked like she was beating up some terrified inmate (The fact that "woman" could send terror into the high-security prisoners frightened me more so than it should have). Of course, I didn't totally care about that. I cared about the fact she was coming towards me, and how she looked very, very mad.

"This is a limited-access area, bitch," the woman-man-thing snarled at me. I shrunk back.

"I got a little bit lost," I tried to explain; "I didn't know I'd end up here."

You know how people say you don't want to meet something in a dark alley? Well, as Alice advanced towards me, I came to the conclusion I didn't want to meet her in a dark alley, a light alley, a "limited-access area", or in a public park filled with tons of cute animals.

"Bullshit," Alice snarled at me, and I began cautiously heading for the door. That didn't exactly help. The burly guard grabbed me by the scuff of my collar and glared at me through those pink tinted eyes.

"I was telling the truth," I reasoned, but was once again ignored.

"Listen, tramp, I don't care what the Warden says about you, but if you try to cross paths with me again," Alice clenched her fist for emphasis, "You gonna wish you were never born. Got that?"

I let out an incomprehensible squeak in response.

"Good," Without another word, Alice released me, and I didn't waste any more time being near her. Like a rabbit fleeing from a predator, I bolted from Alice to the door in about three seconds.

"I'm scarred for life now…" I muttered as I pulled open the heavy steel door and skedaddled out. Never again did I wish to run into that defective creature.

Once I was safe and sound outside, I looked around, and was pleased to find that my quarters were only a few paces away.

"Well, it's about goddamn time," I hissed, running a hand through my hair. I had had enough exploring for one day, thank you very much. So, without further ado, I trotted over and slipped into my pleasantly-boring room, eagerly awaiting some well-earned relaxation.

"Hey, Dana," I jumped slightly, not expecting just Rex to be in the room. But there he was, curled up against the wall, "You look crappy."

"I feel crappy," I muttered, storming over and plopping down on the bed, "Where are the others, anyway?"

"I think they're still out exploring," Rex explained, his blue eyes curious. He got up and trotted closer, "But what happened with you?"

"Oh, let's see: I met a few inmates, one of them being a bird, got lost, almost fell off a building, and finally, had a bad encounter with that Alice…thing ," I rambled off, before groaning and slamming my head against the wall, "It was just _peachy_."

"Ouch," my Lairon replied.

"Gee, thanks," I snapped back, "Did you take a walk or what?" He flinched slightly.

"Yeah, a little while after you left. It was… interesting," he said, "And I've come to the conclusion that the Warden is completely insane."

"Figured that out the moment we met him," I mused.

"I mean, I happened to walk by his office, and he was going on and on to Jared about some of his "great plans". They're completely idiotic!" Rex ranted on, "And I honestly can't believe he controls everything here. No one person can do that." I blinked a few times, and bit my lip.

"I dunno, Rex," I said, "I think there's more to that man than what meets the eye."

"What do you mean?"

"I think he's willing this gargantuan prison to make me lose my way."

"Oh, come on, how can he do that?"

"Clearly, by using some sort of powers. Seriously, I turned a corner and wound up taking the worst elevator ride of my life. That just doesn't happen in a normal dwelling!"

"But still… Dana, it just doesn't work that way… no one person can control a place this big. It just doesn't happened" the Lairon rationalized. I blew a raspberry.

"Screw you and your logic," I snapped, rolling onto my stomach, "There's something up with this place."

"Blah, blah, blah, whatever," Rex grumbled. I smirked slightly, knowing that was his general response when he didn't want to continue arguing with me. He was a smart Pokemon.

Indeed, there had to be something up with this 'Superjail'. No regular, sane place acted like a living creature, or something that's controlled by a single man. And to think I had only been here two hours or so.

Sighing, I closed my eyes. I didn't know if I could take it much longer.

* * *

_She's got her work cut out for her, doesn't she? Endless hallways, elevators from Hell, burly women-men, yep, just another day in Superjail. _

_Speaking of burly women-men... I hate writing for Alice, even though I think I managed. D: She's my least favorite character, to be honest. She frightens me. ;-; Don't expect her to come up too often in further chapters. That's just coming from the preference of the writer._

_Most of the other aspects I enjoyed here... Dana's theory is mine, I admit. I think teh warden's powerful enough to bend his prison depdns on the person in question. If it's someone he likes, you find your way. But if he hates you... well, you'll be taking a bit of a long tour._

_Ah well, I'm rambling. R&R, peoples, and stay tuned~ ;D_


	3. That's a Little Disturbing

_Even though this is the final chapter I've already typed up, I'm not afraid to admit this right here is my favorite chapter. No really, it is. Stuff really starts to kick off from here. A lot of the things that happen after this chapter can trace back to here. But you'll have to read on to find out those things. ;3_

_There's also a bit of foreshadowing in the beginning, so watch for that. Other than that, all I can really say is enjoy the chapter! (:_

_Disclaimer: I don't Pokemon, or Superjail... tch, that's the way it goes, I guess._

* * *

Three days later, and nothing much had changed.

Now, of course I had been attempting to keep busy. I had tried to track down some of the places Bird told me about, but whenever I even attempted I wound up getting lost in the massive corridors of Superjail. I still believe the Warden had something to do about that.

Anyway, it was at this time that I found myself trekking back to my quarters once again. I had just now searched out a handy path back to our room, and I was trying to enjoy it while it lasted. One thing I had learned from Jared about this place was that rooms and entire buildings tended to shift frequently.

_Like some sort of whacked-out glacier_, I thought, and smirked slightly.

Just then, I heard someone yelling at me, and as I turned around I could see Kona barreling down the hallway towards me. I stopped short, and waited for the Floatzel to catch up.

"Hey, Kona, what's up?" I asked. These past couple of days my Pokemon had been wandering off to adventure, so I was seeing them less and less.

"It was so bizarre, Dana!" Kona barked at me, clearly out of breath and looking very disturbed. I cocked my head.

"There's a lot of bizarre things here, big guy," I pointed out, "You're gonna have to be a bit more specific."

"These… these two guys, they looked like twins…" Kona panted, "I saw them… they were both wreaking havoc in one of the cell blocks… and then, they caught sight of me! I tried to panic and run from them, but they didn't come after me! No! You know what they did?!"

"No," I said bluntly.

"They teleported away, that's what! In this freaky flash of green light, too!" Kona was now heavily freaked out, more so then when I first ran into him a few minutes ago, "It's scary…" I folded my arms.

"Huh, so, teleporting twins, eh? Another thing I can add to the 'weird and wacky world of Superjail' portfolio I'm assembling," I said cheekily.

"Thanks for taking my fear so seriously," Kona spat, glaring at me. I grinned, and knelt to his eye level.

"Sorry, Kona, it's just that… well, after seeing all the stuff I've seen over the past couple of days, this talk of teleporting twins doesn't really bother me," I said, patting his sleek head, "Now, if you said I had a secret cyborg clone who was coming to kill me, then I'd be worried." Kona laughed out loud at that.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" he said, and licked my cheek, "I guess I'm not very used to a daily overload of weird everyday."

"It's only for the rest of our lives, Kona," I mentioned, "Now, I was just going to stop by the room. You wanna come with?" Kona nodded, and I lifted my Floatzel into my arms, grunting slightly, "Jesus, Kona, have you been gaining weight?"

"Pfft, no," he laughed, "You're just out of shape."

"Shaddup," I snapped, crating him over to our room, which, like I said, wasn't very far today. I nudged open the door carefully, shifting my Floatzel's weight to my other arm, and waddled on inside.

I let out a weary sigh as I dropped Kona to the floor and stretched. The room hadn't changed at all, even with the world place around it morphing and transforming every second.

"Damn cubicle-room…" I breathed irritably. To be honest, at this point I'd rather be wandering the insanity outside then be in this claustrophobic nightmare.

"Whatcha gonna do now?" Kona suddenly tore me from my thought, and I glanced at him as he leapt onto the lounge bed.

"Oh… I dunno," I said, "This tiny room's making me wanna go outside, though. Of course, then I'll probably just get lost…"

"Maybe you can track down Rex or Hibiscus or something," Kona replied, and his tail twitched. I sucked on my lip a little, thinking that over.

"Yeah… I guess I'll do that," said, a bit distantly. Between the two choices (stay in the tiny room or wander Superjail) I'd have to say this was the better option, "I guess I'll see you whenever then, big guy."

"Okee-dokee," he said back, before curling into a ball and closing his eyes. I sighed again; leave it to Kona to fall out like a light.

I gave my otter-like Pokemon one more glance before slipping back out, less than ten minutes after I first got in. Wow, that was a new record.

I rocked back and forth on my heels for a few moments. So, now what was I to do?

_I wonder how my friends in Cellblock 742 are doing…_ I thought, folding my arms, _Well, it's worth a check. Not like I have anything better to do._All I had to do to get back there just had to remember how the hell to get to that cellblock. Last time I did I took the "fun" elevator.

I paused. Hey, maybe that was it! If I could find that elevator I could get back to that unit!

"Just gotta take that path I took a few days ago…" I said as I began jogging down the hallway much like I did one my first day, looking for the fork in the path. I quickly found. It, unlike most of this hellhole, was in the same spot.

"Now I just go right," I concluded, and proudly turned down the right path, hoping to find myself in the elevator like last time.

Well, there was no elevator. I turned down the right path and instantly found myself at the door leading to Cellblock 742. I blinked. I still have no clue how this damn place works.

"At least I don't haveto go through the elevator again, though," I said optimistically, and smiled. Maybe this adjustment wasn't as bad as I expected. At any rate, I pushed open the door to the Cellblock, eager to see how the friends I made down there were doing.

When I go inside, though, I was confused. It was the right Cellblock, but it too had shifted, so now the hallways were different. I gritted my teeth.

"It's a wonder that all these inmates haven't gone insane yet," I muttered through clenched jaws, walking slowly down the hallway. With any luck I'd hear Bird's chirping again to guide me.

However, it didn't seem like I had a lot of luck on my side, because a few steps down the hall, and I found myself face to face with one of the most gruesome sights I had ever encountered.

I was standing before one of the cells, its door hanging wide open. But the thought of the prisoners inside running wayward didn't bother me, no. What bothered me was that they were probably all dead. Inside the cell there was what looked like the remains of at least four people, scattered about the concrete room. And there was blood, lots of lots of blood. It was splattered about the walls like finger-paints. In all, it looked like something out an awful, ghastly horror movie.

And in the center of the room was Emily, chewing on what looked like an arm.

"Oh… my… God…" I said in hushed tone, slowly taking everything in again, "Emily, WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!"

"I got hungry," Emily replied, slightly muffled from her chewing. She looked up at me with surprisingly innocence eyes. I rubbed my temples.

"Is that… is that an arm?" I finally found it in me to ask. Emily stopped chewing for a moment, looking at the appendage in her claws, and then back at me.

"Maybeh," she replied thoughtfully. I groaned. I had to have the most unruly Pokemon in the world. Honestly, if the Warden found out about this (no doubt he already did) then we'd all be screwed.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar chirping, and a blood-stained Bird landed on the open cell door. I looked at her irritably.

"Oh, so you helped too?" I snapped. She tweeted matter-a-factly.

"Great, just great," I said, before storming into the cell and grabbing Emily by the ear, "C'mon Emily, playtime is over."

"Aww…" she moaned, dropping the arm as I threw her onto my shoulder, "But don't you wanna know what we did?" I glared at her.

"I think I can tell!" I said, "Clearly, you ripped apart all the prisoners in there and then ate them!"

"Nu-uh," my Weavile retorted, "Well, the eating them part is right… but, I didn't rip them apart! You know what I did?"

"Something terrible," I guessed.

"Beauty's in the eye of the beholder," she said, "But, no. What I did was I jumped on the guys, and then I used Dark Pulse. And then they exploded! It was awesome! Their organs were flying all over the place!" She grinned. Bird, who had stayed back at the scene of the crime, gave a resounding twitter in agreement. I rolled my eyes.

"Great, now you have a new killing technique," I said dully, vaguely taking into account that Emily had disobeyed my "don't use your powers" rule I had tried to set up. Just then, I thought up a new question, "How many people did you blow up then, anyway?"

"Four," Emily said in response. I looked at her. She looked around shiftily, "Okay… it was more like six. I was really hungry, okay!" I nearly stopped the bash my head into the wall. Fortunately, I restrained myself.

"What am I going to do with you, huh?" I said. It was a very rhetorical question at this point, "Honestly…"

I suddenly stopped, and looked around. I had been so caught up with this incident that I didn't realize where we were going. So, low and behold, now both Emily and I were lost.

"Well, what a _wonderful _day this is turning out to be," I said sarcastically, "Now where the hell are we?" Emily looked around and her ears quivered.

"I believe… we are near the mess hall," she said firmly, "I can hear the shouts." I nodded appreciatively, briefly forgiving her for being such a wild, flesh-eating beast at times.

"Then lead us there," I said, placing her on the ground. Emily sniffed at the air, and her ears fluttered more as she pinpointed the exact location. Finally, she got it.

"Follow me," she commanded, and bolted down the hallway. I nodded, quickly running after her. We ran for about five minutes, and I still didn't see anything like a mess hall. God, I really hoped that Weavile of mine wasn't dragging me further into this cesspool known as Superjail.

"And… we're here!" Fortunately, she wasn't. Not a moment too soon, Emily stopped before the open doors of Superjail's communal dining room, which was already packed with inmates. I smiled, knowing it was just about lunchtime.

"Good job, Emily," I said.

"Thanks, I try," she replied cheekily.

"Now, why don't we venture inside?" I suggested.

"But I already ate," she pointed out. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, but I didn't. And I'm not in the mood to be a cannibal. Now let's go," I said, and without another word grabbed Emily and dragged her inside.

A few minutes later we found ourselves in the center of the dining hall. I looked about. The place was packed, and I doubted there was any place to sit. Not like I wanted to hang around here very long, though. Those big buff guys still gave me the creeps. As did the scary cafeteria ladies I could make out by the kitchen, but that's another story entirely.

"Well, now what?" Emily asked dully, "What are we gonna do now? This is boring." I shrugged, pulling a bottle of tequila (my drink of choice, for your information) out of my hoodie pocket and taking a long swig.

"Well, I just wanted to check and see what it looked like here," I said, capping the bottle, "Clearly, it's not much different here than in the cells."

"So are we going back to the room?" my Weavile questioned.

"I guess. There's no way in hell I'm taking any food from here," I said, before turning and heading back for the exit.

Just then, something caught my ear. It sounded like the conversation at one of the nearby tables of inmates. I paused, and began to pick up fragments of the conversation. I managed to pick up the words "riot", "busting out", and "tonight". My eyes widened. It sounded like that group of guys was plotting a riot!

"Well ain't that curious…" I commented.

"What is?" Emily asked, not having heard what I did.

"Something about a riot going down tonight," I replied, gazing over at the chatting table of prisoners absently.

"Spiffy," she responded. Suddenly, I heard more voices coming from the table, and it took me a minute to realize they were addressing _me_.

"Whata you lookin' at, bitch?!" one of the guys, a big muscular guy with a sea of tattoos all over him, said. He stood up and glared at me. I took a step back, realizing that it never was good to make eye contact with convicted criminals.

"Uh… I wasn't looking at anything…" I replied hastily, "I was staring into space, dammit!" It didn't seem that excuse was working, though. By now all the convicts at the table had stood up, and were slowly advancing towards me.

"We don't like girls intruding on our turf," a thin rat-like inmate said. I was very tempted to shoot back with "I don't think you've even seen a woman in a _looong_ time", but from the looks of things, this wasn't the time for that.

"Hey, hey now, I don't mean any trouble," I said, desperately trying to figure out a way out of this situation, "I wasn't listening to you talk about a riot or anything. I was just pausing for a breather." The second those words came out of my mouth I regretted it.

"Oh, so you heard about our little plan, eh?" the first muscular-tattoo guy said, cracking his knuckles, "Well, we can't have that, can we?"

"Looks like we'll have to shut her up for good," a new speaker, some Spanish looking guy chimed in. I gritted my teeth, knowing by now there was no way I could run. I began to feel a very powerful warmth bubbling up from inside me as I realized I only had one other option.

I was gonna have to fight them.

…remember how I said I wasn't your typical Pokemon Trainer? Well, aside from my little nightmares of Pokemon that follow me around, I myself have a bit of an… ability, if you will. Of course, I hardly ever use it unless it's an emergency and all, but it's still there.

You see, friends, I have the bizarre quirk of being able to transform into a Ninetales.

Yes, you heard that right. Due to some weird rocks I bought off Ebay I've found that if I focus on it enough, I burst into flames and alter into the form of a Ninetales, fire-breathing and all. It's a rather handy power to have when I'm in tight situations.

You know, like, being surrounded by murderous convicts who'd like to kill me.

The heat inside me was now coursing through my entire body, and I knew I was ready for this fight. I tilted my head and smirked insanely at the advancing inmates.

"Sorry, hate to break it to you, but I'm not one to be 'shut up for good'," I hissed with finality. Then, throwing caution to the wind, I burst into the flames I were familiar with, and felt my body change. When the heat subsided, I was no longer in the appearance of a human. No, now I was a large, golden-furred Ninetaleswith wild head fluff. I gave a malicious snarl, and lunged forward.

Most of the inmates who had surrounded me instantly jumped back. They were clearly horrified by transformation. To be honest, so was I. I mean, I really wasn't supposed to use my powers here. But hell, if Emily already violated that contract by slaughtering a whole batch of prisoners, then why couldn't I?

At any rate, Emily let out a loud whoop of joy as the convict I had lunged at, the leader muscular guy, was flung into the ground by my Body Slam. I gave him a fiery glower, before opening my jaws and roasting him with a fine-tuned Fire Blast.

"Hey, Emily," I yelled to my Weavile when I was done cooking my victim, "Now might be a good time to show me your new trick!"

"Way ahead of ya," she replied, leaping and clinging to the rat-like man. I saw a flicker of determination pass through her eyes as she channeled her Dark Pulse, and then, just as she had explained to me, the guy she was grasping exploded in a shower of organs. I stood up straight, and whistled.

"Nice," I admired.

"I know," Emily replied, before leaping onto another enemy inmate to do it again. I nodded to myself, and continued my rage of flaming attacks. In the back of my head I knew this was horribly wrong, but I made that thought pass. Besides, those guys were the ones who had provoked me. I was simply defending myself.

Finally, after ten minutes of attacking and flaming and exploding, the mass of would-be rioters were dead on the floor, every last one of them. Most of them had been reduced to nothing but a pile of blood and bits of skin.

After shaking out the blood that had gotten on my fur, I went back human and stretched. Emily returned to my shoulder.

"Looks like we've had an audience," she commented. I blinked, and looked to see what she meant. Sure enough, our vicious fight had drawn quite the mass of attention, with almost all of the inmates in the dining hall gazing at the two of us. I bit my lip, and raised my arms up pacifistically.

"Um… we come in peace?" I said cautiously. To my surprise, some of the closer criminals backed up slightly, chattering to each other nervously, as if they were scared of me. I couldn't help but chuckle at that. I mean, it wasn't that bad, was it?

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" Out of the blue, a voice I had become very, very familiar with echoed from behind us. My body slumped, and I slowly turned around, all of my pride shriveling up and dieing.

There, about two yards or so away, was the Warden, flanked by his associates. And boy, did he look _pissed_. Out of all of the Superjail staff in front of Emily and me, the Warden definitely looked the most like he wanted to kill us. Jared looked like he was going to have a heart attack, no doubt from the sight of the carnage before us. Alice looked a bit bored by the whole scene, as if she had done this sort of crap before. Not like I was going to ask her about it, anyway. Jailbot was the only one who looked slightly pleased, and that was probably because he liked violence anyway.

"Uh, hey, everybody…" I said quietly, waving awkwardly. The Warden stormed forward, looking frantically at the dead bodies around us.

"What the… what happened here, Dana?!" he demanded, giving me a look that could probably turn the average person to stone.

"Well, um, you see… there were these guys… and they started this fight… and then I got in it… and then the guys… kinda all died…" Knowing he wanted to explanation, I decided to give him one. Once I got most of it out, Warden folded his arms and continued giving me that damn dirty look.

"You mean you did all this? With your bare hands?" he questioned. I looked away slightly.

"Well, Emily helped…" I said, making my Weavilehiss in annoyance, "And 'with our bare hands' doesn't really explain it…"

"What the hell does that mean?" Warden queried, getting more pissed looking by the second. I twiddled my thumbs.

"Let's just say I brought in some home-made fire power," I squeaked, not really wanting to get into my Pokemon and my powers at this point and time.

The Warden rolled his eyes, agitated by my response obviously. He looked around at the bodies again and then back at me.

"Was there any particular reason why you did this?" he asked. I sighed, getting tired of this interrogation. Maybe if I just gave him the real reason he'd leave me alone.

"You know what? Yes, there was a particular reason I did this," I said firmly, "Those guys that we killed, I heard that they were planning a riot tonight, so I was only getting rid of them so that it wouldn't happen and everything would remain all hunky-dory and stuff." Emily nodded vigorously to prove my point. Hey, I wasn't totally lying, so it was as good an explanation as any. I didn't really think we had stopped a riot anyway; I was just beating up some guys who had pissed me off.

Anyway, the Warden blinked a few times, taking in my justification. I swallowed, hoping he would accept that and we would be free to go.

"So…you're saying you stopped a riot?" Warden asked me. I flinched. What was with this guy and questions?

"Well, yeah, I guess we did," I said wanly, and shrugged. At this point I didn't know what else to clarify. However, it appeared I wouldn't need to clarify much at all. For as soon as I verified that yes, we had (sort of) stopped a prison riot, the Warden's features instantly brightened, and he flashed me a goofy grin.

"That's absolutely marvelous~!" he chimed, "Well done, Dana, well done!"

"Um, thanks…" I responded unsurely, not quite sure what to make of this.

"You know, this reminds me: since you happen to be staying here for a little bit, I decided you might as well make yourself useful, Dana," Warden went on, now spinning about like a madman, "I have a job for you to perform. Now, at first I wasn't sure if it would be quite right for you, but seeing all this just proves my point!"

"Um, what point is that?" I asked in confusion. Unfortunately, a straight answer didn't appear to be coming my way just yet.

"Meet me in my office in a few minutes, and I can explain," he said to me, and before I could interject he bounced off out of the dining hall and was gone. I blinked slowly, before looking at his still-remaining staff members.

"Is he always like that?" I asked Jared. The accountant nodded.

"He can be a little moody sometimes…" he explained simply. I gave him an odd look, before turning to go.

_Moody? Jesus Christ, the guy went from completely evil to all sunshine-and-happiness in less than two seconds flat! I think that qualifies to be bipolar… _I thought to myself.

"Now I just gotta get to his office without becoming totally lost," I said to myself, and folded my arms.

"Ooh, that'll be _so_ easy," Emily muttered sarcastically. She was still clinging to my shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I'll manage," I said, and began to file out of the canteen.

Before I got very far, however, I had the sensation of being picked up by a familiar metal clamp. Next thing I knew, Jailbot was carefully placing me on his metallic back, and I, not knowing what else to do, hung onto it.

"Jailbot can easily take you to the Warden's office," Jared called over. I cocked my head.

"Oh, well, that's nice of you, Jailbot," I said. His emoticon turned pleasurably happy. I laughed and patted his side.

Suddenly, the ghostly robot fired out of the mess hall at high speed, making me grip him even harder. Emily shrieked in irritation as she struggled to hold on. Eventually, her claws lost their grip, and I watched as she went tumbled off my back.

"Eh… she can find her way back," I said. I then looked around as Jailbot carried me along. The halls of Superjail were blurring by, so I couldn't make heads or tails of our location. Finally, though, the robot slowed down, slowly coming to a stop in front of the door I recognized as the one to the Warden's office.

Carefully sliding of his back, I turned to Jailbot and smiled at him.

"Hey, thanks for the ride," I said to him. To my immediate surprise, two of Jailbot's metallic arms sprang out, one from each compartment, and gripped me in what I supposed was a hug. His face changed to a blinking neon green heart.

"Um, thanks, Jailbot, but… uh… I can't breathe…" I struggled to say as he crushed me against his metal side. Realizing I was having a hard time, Jailbot sheepishly withdrew the arms, and I dropped to the ground. His features turned glum.

"Hey, it's fine, no harm done," I said, before turning to the door, "Now if you'll excuse me; I have an 'appointment'." And before Jailbotcould give me any more hugs or something, I opened the door and slipped in.

_That robot's cute and all, but I think he likes me _waaaaay_ too much_, I thought as I went in. Once inside the LSD-infused office, I noticed the Warden wasn't here yet, _he probably tricked me or something. Gah, I knew I couldn't trust him! _

Just then, though, the Warden made his entrance.

"HOLY JESUS!!!" I sprang back instantly as a giant rainbow shot through the panoramic window, shattering a good part of it. A few moments later, the Warden came in, sliding down the rainbow and landing before me.

"Heh, did you enjoy my ingress?" he purred to me, before taking off his hat and allowing the rainbow to slither on inside of it, which probably broke a few more laws of physics right there.

"That was freaking scary…" I muttered, rubbing my temples once again.

"Now now, no need for criticism," Warden said, before walking over and sitting down on his desk.

"Shut up, Warden," I snapped, "Just tell me what this little 'job' is."

"Say please," he replied cheekily. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine… _please_ tell me what this little job is," I snarled, getting very exasperated very quickly.

"Okee-dokee," he said, before finally explaining to what I had been waiting so long for, "I've decided you'll make a great assistant." I blinked.

"I get to be an assistant?" I repeated, "For whom?"

"Why, me, of course!" the Warden sprang up and did another on of those wiggle-moves over to me, "I came to the conclusion that you can be my personal assistant!" my eyes widened.

"I get to be your assistant?" I said, crestfallen, "What the hell does a personal assistant for you even do?"

"I dunno, I haven't had one before," he said simply, before wrapping his almost-elastic arm around me, "But, eh, I'll think you'll manage."

"That's a little disturbing…" I murmured, looking at his noddleish arm, before snapping back to attention, "Well, fine, since you don't really seem to know what I'm supposed to do for you right now, can go back to my room?" The Warden's arm reeled back to normal size, and he shrugged.

"If you wish," he said, before smiling mysteriously, "Oh, and on the subject of that room… let's just say I think you'll like what you see there over the next couple of days." I raised a curious eyebrow, but didn't question what he meant. Instead, I simply turned and walked out of the office.

"Call me when you've finally figured out what I have to do," I hissed on the way out.

Once outside, I let out a deep sigh. Of all the jobs in the world, I had to be stuck being the assistant of the most insane person in the area, and he didn't even know what I was suppose to do! What a job that was, huh? I hope I'm getting paid for this.

"Well, I guess it could've been worse," I mused as I headed back to my quarters, "I could've been Alice's assistant."

* * *

_Like I said, I really like this chapter. Dana's power is revealed, she gets a new "job", and the Warden's treating her a bit better. Of course, all good things comes to end an end, some things quicker than others. But that's later. WE GOTTA LIVE IN THE PRESENT, PEOPLE! (coughs)_

_...The part with Emily, inside the cell, that came from a picture I once drew of my Weavile with a severed arm sticking out of her mouth, with the exlcaimed question-and answer of "Is that an arm?" and "Maybeh". It stuck, and here it is now._

_Did you find the foreshadowing? It's there alright, and the stuff it's hinting at is coming up soon. One of the things described is... next chapter, I believe. Speak of the devil, I haven't quite typed the next chapter up yet, but I'm working on it. :P_

_So, hope you like these first three chapter, and I've got more coming soon!  
R&R now, yo. ;D_


	4. Never a Dull Moment

_Whoop, chapter four right here for all you people here~! Tis a bit shorter than the last three, but some of the foreshadowing from last chapter comes into play here, coming in the form of the marvelous Twins. Yay. :3_

_And, to add it, this chapter introduces an important (abet small and fluffy) character. Yesh. _

_I own neither Pokemon or Superjail.... I do own my imagination, though. 8D_

* * *

"Yes, yes, for the last time, they're called Pokemon," I said as I backed out of the Warden's office, currently in my Ninetales form, "No; it's Poke-EE-mon. You have to accent on the 'e'. Okay, you finally got it? Good, I'm outta here."

I had just spent my second day of being the Warden's assistant by explaining to him what a Pokemon was. Even at the end of it all, I still don't think he got the drift.

Anyhow, as I trotted along, I began to notice that everything was starting to look a bit more familiar, as if I was finally figured out my way around here. I smiled at that. Hopefully now that the Warden thought a bit better of me, he would control the world around me so that I stopped getting lost, and that would mean I wouldn't be nearly falling off buildings again.

Finally, I reached the door to my quarters. At least, that's what I thought it was. What had been a simple brown door before now had some intricate moldings on the side. I narrowed my eyes slightly, remembering the Warden had said something about "liking what I'm seeing over the next couple of days". Perhaps this was part of that? Either way, I didn't pay much mind to it.

"Whatever," I groused, before pushing the door open and walking in. And the second I was inside, I stopped short, as I think I realized what the Warden was talking about. In fact, I was almost afraid I had walked into the wrong room.

The room itself was much bigger than it had been yesterday, and it had shed that cubicle appearance. The white walls were now a light yellow, an almost calming color. There was also a big bay window on the right wall, giving me an excellent view of some of Superjail's outer buildings.

"Oh God… wow…" I murmured, looking about.

"That was our reaction," I jumped, not having noticed that all my Pokemon were also in the room, Rex having just spoken. I walked over to them.

They were near the lounge bed in the room, which had also changed. It was much bigger now. I sat down on the soft lounger, and my friends clustered around me.

"How long has this room been like this?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the very apparent transformation.

"Not very long, I think" Rex explained, "I mean, I only stepped out for a minute, and when I came back the room looked like this. I couldn't believe it."

"Well, actually, I can," I said, "This whole place is always shifting."

"I'm just shocked by how nice it got," Kona said, lolling about on the lounge, "I mean, it's not so cramped anymore! It's such a step-up!"

I blinked for a moment, taking that in. It really was a step-up from what it had been. I bit my lip, thinking about how I believed the Warden had been getting me lost, and how when I came back from his office I found the quarters just fine. Finally, I came back to the conclusion I had formed on my way over here.

"I think the Warden adjusted this room because of me," I said. I received several odd looks from my Pokemon in response.

"What do ya mean?" Kona questioned.

"I mean, the Warden controls everything here. I'm fairly certain I've been getting lost the last couple of days because of him. But now," I gestured at the room, "I believe this room transformed because the Warden's view of us, me, in particular, took a step-up."

"I bet it's because of that "riot stopping" we did," Emily mumbled as she crawled on top of me.

"Riot stopping…" Rex said cautiously, giving me a look.

"Emily and I did some fighting in the mess hall recently and wound up stopping a riot," I explained.

"And so you think the room changed because that was something favorable to the Warden?" my Laironpressured. I nodded slightly.

"Kinda," I said, "You see, guys, yesterday I had to have a semi-forced meeting with Mr. Wonka himself. " That caught my friends' attention. I hadn't quite told them about my job yet. I mean, it only happened the day before.

"What happened?" Kona queried. I couldn't help but smirk to myself a little a bit as I savored the moment before revealing my new (kinda crappy) job.

"The Warden made me his personal assistant," I revealed dully, before flopping down on the bed. My friends murmured a few quips of shock.

"That sounds interesting," Kona commented. I looked at him.

"Not really," I said, "Especially when the guy I'm supposed to be assisting doesn't know what I'm exactly supposed to do. I mean, I the only thing I've done so far is explain to him what Pokemon are, and I don't even thin THAT went right."

"That's a bit of an annoyance," Emily replied.

"Nah Nyah Na Nyah," Hibiscus added.

"Meh, I guess so," I concurred.

"At least now the Warden doesn't totally seem to hate us," my Floatzel said optimistically, "At least, I would think he wouldn't. If he still did, there wouldn't be any need to upgrade our room to "suite" level." I pondered that for a moment, but then smiled.

"I guess you have a point, Kona," I said, "We should just enjoy this nice room now that we have it."

_And I should be enjoying that my current job doesn't have any need to be performed to its fullest yet_, I added in thought, and beamed harder.

"So… now what we should we do?" Rex asked, slipping off the lounge and onto the newly carpeted ground. I shrugged.

"I dunno," I responded.

Suddenly, there was an odd static sound that emitted from the top of one of the walls.

"Guys, what the hell was that?" I questioned.

"Oh, it's some intercom thing," Rex replied, pointing up at a small speaker in the top corner I hadn't noticed before, "I think it got there with the rest of the changes."

"Sounds like someone's trying to use it," Kona commented. I nodded, and eyed the speaker suspiciously. Sure enough, a moment later, the Warden's voice came on over the intercom.

"Hello, Dana~!" he chirped. I sat upright.

"What's up, Warden?" I called back. There was a brief pause, and then he came back.

"I've found something for you do as my assistant," he replied cheerily. I raised a curious eyebrow.

"What do I have to do?" I asked, "Serve you food on a silver platter?" I stuck out my tongue at the thought of that.

"Hehehe, unfortunately not," the Warden's voice replied, chuckling a bit, "No, it's something else. I've noticed there's something odd happening in Cellblock 46, and I'd like you to go see if you investigate it. Maybe break it up too, while you're at it," I blinked.

"You can't let Alice or Jailbot do it?" I asked the intercom.

"Well, I guess I could, but if you do this you'd be _assisting_ me, and since you're my _assistant_, I thought you could do it," I could almost see him grinning widely as he said it. I rolled my eyes.

"I guess I'll go do it then," I gave in, "Where exactly is that cellblock, anyway?"

"Not very far," Warden replied, "It should be a little ways down the hall." I was already up and heading for the door, but I stopped about halfway to ask something else.

"What do I do after I investigate it?" I asked. There was another pause.

"Just relax, I guess," he slowly replied, "I'll be able to tell, you know."

"Oh yes, I know," I muttered.

"Good. Now, go investigate that stuff!" And with that, the Warden's voice cut out. I sighed.

"Well, so much for not having work to do…" I grumbled, "I'll be back, guys. Hopefully I won't get myself killed or anything."

"Good luck!" Konacalled optimistically as I was halfway out the door. I gave my Pokemona nonchalant wave as a response, and without saying anything, I left, once again out in the hall.

"Okay, so the Warden said Cellblock 46 was just a little ways down the hall," I verified, and began to walk, "Let's see if he's right."

Sure enough, I had no gotten no further then perhaps a few yards or so when I spotted a door labeled with a large "46". I grinned, reaching for the handle. Man, I love not getting lost!

"So, let's see what the damage is," I mused to myself, and thrust up the heavy steel door, looking inside. The second I did, though, I almost had to do a double take.

"Holy crap…" I muttered, as I watched dozens upon dozens of inmates ran in fear from what looked like a giant dinosaur-octopus crossbreed, which was sweeping up convicts with its scaly tentacles and eating them. Now thoroughly curious as to why the hell the Warden would send me to deal with _this_, I slipped into the room a bit to watch the action go down.

"Never a dull moment here, eh?" I said to myself, watching the carnage.

"We see you like our form of chaos," a monotone voice responded from behind me. I jumped, and spun around, and found myself face to face with two very odd beings. They appeared to be identical twins, both with long blond hair. I took note of their odd, spacey outfits. Suddenly, it all clicked into place.

"You must be the teleporting twins I've heard about," I said, remembering my conversation with Kona. I wondered if the Warden sent me here so I could meet these guys.

"Indeed," the first Twin said in a blank voice.

"It must be true," the second one added, his voice also expressionless. I nodded slightly, backing up a little.

"So, I'm guessing you guys are responsible for that thing?" I guess, motioning behind me at the rampaging dino-pus.

"It is our doing. We are the masters of chaos and confusion here, Dana," the Twins said simultaneously. I blinked.

"How did you know my name?" I asked cautiously.

"We know about everything that happens here in Superjail," Twin 1 said, "It is only natural we know of your presence."

"Well, yeah, one of my companions ran into you, I believe," I mused, half to myself, half to the Twins.

"We recall," Twin 2 said. I only nodded, trying to think of what else to say. To be perfectly honest, these twins were scaring me a little. They just seemed so out-of-place.

"Oh dear," Twin 1 suddenly said looking behind me at the dino-pus, "It seems the Octosauris getting out of hand." I heard a hideous roar-screech from behind me, and I decided not to turn around and see what he was talking about. I did, however, remember that I was supposed to break up whatever odd thing that happened to be occurring.

"Um, about that… 'Octosaur'," I said, "Do you think you could move it to someplace else?"

"Why would we do that?" Twin 2 asked. I tensed, briefly panicking over what these two might pull off it I got them angry.

"Well… um, I'm sure there's plenty of other places you could let that thing wreak havoc…" I stuttered.

"But we want to let it rampage here," Twin 1 argued. I could tell they were both getting amused over my bumbling. Finally, I just let out an annoyed sigh, giving in.

"Look: I was only sent here by the Warden to investigate whatever the hell was going here, and I did. I was also sent to break it up if possible," I explained, "So if you just move the Octosaur, you'll be helping me do my job, okay?"

There was a moment of silence as I watched the Twins exchange pleased glances, before coming back to me.

"Ah yes, you _are_ the Warden's second-in-command," The first one said.

"Perhaps we shall move the Octosuar to a different area," the second one added, nodding to Twin 1.

"Yes, we shall," his brother replied.

"I'm not the Warden's 'second-in-command'," I said to them, "But it would really help if you moved that… thing."

I was ignored, though, for by the time I finished talking the two odd beings had disappeared in a flash of green light.

"Huh, they really can teleport," I thought aloud, turning around to face the Cellblock. The Octosaur was gone too, leaving a bunch of confused and most likely heavily injured inmates on the ground. I folded my arms, and nodded to myself.

"I think this counts as both investigating _and_breaking up the problem," I concluded. By now, though, several of the prisoners were getting up, and I released that if they weren't locked up and they noticed me, things could be bad. Quickly I turned around and bolted out the Cellblock door.

"Now, back to the room!" I exclaimed as I jogged along. Hopefully the Warden would be happy I handled that so quickly. I didn't even have to get my hands dirty. Hell, maybe I'd be awarded with another upgrade to our room!

Soon after, when I was back at our quarters, I thrust open the door. Unfortunately, there weren't any other extravagant pieces or furniture or windows or stuff like that. The room looked how it had been before I left.

_Ah well, can't have everything_, I thought as myself I entered, catching my Pokemon's attention.

"So, how'd it go?" Rex asked, "Did you 'investigate'?"

"Investigated AND broke up," I replied, "Double whammy. And I got to see an octopus dinosaur crossbreed." I grinned, and my Pokemon stared at me.

"Nyah Nyah Na Nah?" Hibiscus asked.

"You don't want to know what it looks like, Hibiscus, you just don't," I answered, "Trust me on that." My Skittyuttered a small mew in reply.

"Well… _okaaaaay_… that's good, I guess. Now you don't have to worry about that anymore," Rex said. I nodded, and realized I should mention my other meeting.

"Oh, and I also had a little run in with some certain teleporting twins," I added quickly. Konaperked up immediately.

"You saw them?" he asked, "They're creepy, aren't they?!"

"Hell yeah they are," I said, "And they're even scarier when you talk to them." I winked.

"I'm just gonna nod and pretend I know what you're talking about," Emily said blankly as she rolled around on the bed. I turned and gave her a look.

Just then, the staticysound from before erupted, and I realized the Warden was using the intercom again. I smirked. Perhaps he was going to give me a reward!

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy…" I purred, rubbing my hands eagerly. Soon as I said that, the Warden's voice came on over the airwaves.

"Dana, I need you to come into my office," he said icily. I blinked, knowing that harsh tone couldn't be good, especially after I'd done what he asked.

"Um… is this about what happened in the Cellblock?" I queried slowly.

"JUST COME HERE!!!" Warden yelled back, and then the speaker was silent. I winced, before glancing at my Pokemon.

"I better go check that," I said timidly. They all nodded, equally confused and worried as I was.

So, I headed out once again. I ran out of my room and down the hall, following the path I had been down earlier. Soon, I was once again at the Warden's office.

"Let's see what the hell the matter is," I said quietly, and walked on inside. When I got there, the Warden's back turned to me, and I couldn't see what he was doing.

"Oh good, you're finally here," Warden hissed sharply, and I cringed again.

"So, what's the matter?" I finally asked, walking slowly up to him, "I didn't mess up my job in the cellblock, did I?"

"Oh, no, you did that perfectly fine," he responded, "There's just something I'd like you to… explain." I frantically tried to figure out what I had done wrong.

"What is it?" I decided to go with the most straight-forward question. The Warden didn't answer me, though. He simply turned his head to glare at me, before moving out of the way so I could see what was on the desk.

And when I did, I almost couldn't believe my eyes.

"Hey, Dana," the small, yellow creature before me said. I blinked very slowly, taking in the figure, with its tall, black-tipped ears and pink cheeks that defined the Pokemon known as a Pichu. I recognized it instantly from when I had first seen the creature, a while back, but now the only difference from when I had last seen it was a purple top hat, identical to the Warden's, resting on its head. If he wanted me to explain this, then I was clearly going to have a hard time.

It took me a long time to pick out words for this situation, but after a while they finally came to my mind, and I spoke.

"Philpe…"

* * *

_CLIFFHANGER DUN DUN DUN._

_Yep, meet Philpe the Pichu, a character who happens to based off a friend of mine. Name comes from a corrupted spelling of 'Felipe'. No worries, his issues will be thoroughly explained soon, from his hat to how Dana happens to know him. ;P_

_The Octosaur was a completely random idea I thought of while lying around half alseep.  
...I get a lot of ideas that way..._

_Enjoy, peoples. And dont be afraid to review! They would be greatly appreciated and awesome. _


	5. A Philpe and His Hat

_Woo, two reviews, that's great! :D Nice to see people are taking an interest in this. _

_Anyway... this is the Philpe chapter, the one pretty much starring the little obnoxious Pichu from the end of Part 4. He comes up in the future, though, just not as prominently. Don't worry folks, ALL SHALL BE REVEALED ON HIM. Just read on and find out. ;)_

_...Hey, guess what? I don't own Pokemon or Superjail! 8D So shocking, I know._

* * *

I had to blink a few times to make sure what I was seeing before me was real. There, on the Warden's desk, wearing a big purple top hat, was Philpe the Pichu, a Pokemon I believed I would never see again.

"…oh my God, of all Pokemon… Philpe…" I muttered, still a bit stunned.

"The one and only, baby," the Pichu exclaimed, tipping his hat and grinning. He hadn't changed one bit.

You see, about a month back, before I was dropped into Superjail, my Pokemon and I happened to run into Philpe during my travels. The little yellow creature had caught my attention mainly because he was ravaging a city for two reasons: he was bored, and he was looking for Cheez-its. Apparently he has some sort of obsession with the small orange crackers and will try to get a hold of them at any time. Well, I helped him out a little by giving him some, and we sort of became friends. However, in the end we still said our good-byes and parted ways. I thought he wouldn't come up in my life again.

But now here he was, standing before me in Superjail, in all his glory. And I needed answers. Fast.

"How the… How did you get here, Philpe?" I interrogated, deicing to go with the simplest question.

"That's what I would like to know from you," The Warden muttered, and I looked at him. I had briefly forgotten he was even in the room, "Jailbot brought this little… thing to my office a little while ago. It looks the creatures following you around, the "Pok-a-mon", so I came to the conclusion it's your fault it's here." My jaw dropped.

"Warden…. I have no clue how he got here either!" I snapped, "I mean, I know this Pichu, I've met him before, but there's no way in hell I brought him here."

"Well, technically," Philpe cleared his throat, and the Warden and I looked at him, "I brought myself here, via you."

"WHAT?!" I yelled. How did Philpe use me to get here?

"I stowed away in your knapsack," he explained laxly, "Survived off Cheez-it's and fruit punch." I blinked, and suddenly remember how I thought I felt something slap my neck when I was being dragged here. That must have been him! I cursed myself for shoving so much food in my knapsack.

"But why in the world did you follow me in the first place?!" I shrieked, still both confused and now slightly angered.

"I happened to be in the neighborhood, I was bored, and where ever you were going seemed interesting," the small Pokemon replied, and shrugged. I relaxed slightly.

"Well, okay, that explains how you got here and why…" I said, before looking at the Warden, "But, what was he doing that got you so pissed at him? Aside from, you know, wandering in unannounced…"

"That little rat's been causing problems all over Superjail!" Warden shouted back, and I cringed, "And somehow he got into my quarters and STOLE ONE OF MY HATS!!!" I swallowed, before looking at the top hat on Philpe's head. Yeah, it really was a copy of what the Warden was currently wearing. Damn, that Pichu could really travel fast.

"Hey, man, I didn't know it was _your_hat," the Pichu said innocently, "Besides, it's so soft. I couldn't help but take one. It matches my coloring."

"You stole it!" the Warden hissed back.

"Stealing's such a harsh term," Philpe replied, "I prefer 'borrowing without the intention of giving it back'." The Warden snarled, and I thought he was going to use those freaky powers of his to punch Philpe into the ground, but I quickly intervened.

"Guys, guys, cool down," I said hastily, raising my hands in a submissive pose, "Now… where do I fit in with all this?"

"Where do you fit in?" Warden shrieked, "Well, that's an easy answer: You brought him here, now get him the hell out!"

"Dude, for the last time, I didn't know he stowed away…" I muttered under my breath, before turning his attention to Philpe, "Okay, fine, I'll get rid of him." I started to inch towards Philpe, whose cheeks sparked menacingly. I knew if I grabbed him I'd probably get Thunderbolted to the moon, but that was a risk worth taking.

Philpe's eyes narrowed as I got closer, and he backed up to avoid me. I came further still. Finally, the Pichu snapped.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!" he cried, and before I could grab him, he turned and smashed out the panoramic window. The last thing I saw of him before he disappeared was his yellow body crashing towards the ground.

I paused for a minute, before sighing.

"There, problem solved," I said, "He'll just kill himself that way."

"I fail to agree," The Warden said darkly, "That little gremlin managed to avoid both capture and getting himself killed in Superjail for over a week now, I highly doubt falling from a building will do much! Dana, I command you to catch that "Pichu"! Because if I find him first, oh, you're going to hear about it! And trust me; it will not be a happy experience." I shivered, not liking this dark, demonic side of the Warden.

"Look, I'll see what I can do," I said, "If he survives like you're saying he will, I'll try to track him down and get him out of here ASAP. That way you won't have to get your hands dirty." The Warden was silent for a moment, thinking.

"You better," he finally hissed. I nodded in response.

"Now get the hell out of my office," Warden growled. I didn't waste any time lollygagging around. I was out of there moments later.

"Great, now I have a thick-headed, top hat wearing Pichu to deal with," I muttered as I stormed back to my quarters. I ran a hand through my hair, "My Pokemon are just gonna _love_ this."

And they did. When I got back to there room a little while later, all my Pokemon were conveniently there, so they could all hear of why I was sent to the Warden's office. At first they didn't even believe me.

"No way, Philpe, the Pichu we met a while back, he's here?" Kona said in shock.

"Stowed away in my backpack," I said, nodding, "And he's got a Warden top hat now. That's part of the reason I'm now his official Bounty Hunter for that damn Pichu."

"Maybe I could find him and eat him," Emily suggested.

"Tempting, but no," I replied, "Somehow I think this is my job. And the last thing I want right now is the Warden to get even more pissed off at me. God, he's so bipolar…"

"This is about as bad as getting stuck here in the first place," Rex mumbled. I glared at him.

"That isn't my fault, thank you very much," I said, folding my arms bitterly.

"So, what are we gonna do, then?" Kona asked, looking at me upside-down from the bed. I shrugged.

"I dunno," I said, "Philpe leapt out of a window and went plummeting to the ground. I highly doubt he's still alive anyway, but the Warden thinks he is." I walked over to the bay window and sat down on its little ledge.

"You can never tell with them electric rodents…" Rex said quietly.

"Nyah Nah Na," Hibiscus added. I shrugged again and simply looked out the window, staring at the massive buildings of Superjail. I'll admit Philpe's cool and all, but right now I was really hoping he was dead on the bottom somewhere. It would get me off the hook.

Suddenly, something outside caught my eye. Curious, I hit the little latches at the bottom of the window and pushed it open so I could see better. I peered outside of the window, and felt the cool air out outer Superjail. But I didn't care about that. No, now my attention was at the action that appeared to be consuming one of the smaller buildings.

"Holy Tim Curry in fishnets!" I finally said, "Is that building _on fire_!?" My friends rushed over, and were all trying to push themselves through the open window to see.

"It would appear so," Emily said, poking his steel head out from under my arm, "Wow… those flames look like they're traveling fast." he was right. The yellow building was now completely aflame, the fire leaping up slightly, though not seeming to spread to other buildings.

"How the hell did that happen?" Rex wondered aloud. I shrugged, and squinted slightly. I had just then noticed a small open entryway at the base of the building. It, like the rest of the structure, was also blazing. However, there was something that appeared to be coming out of the building that grasped my attention.

"What is that…?" I whispered, leaning further out the window and squinting harder.

Whatever it was, it was really small in comparison to the building, it looked yellow and purple, and it was holding what looked like a really small torch or something. By now it was now out of range of the collapsing flame-riddled building, standing on a small uprise of ground.

"ANARCHY!!!" the figure shrieked, and we all heard from as far up as we were. Suddenly, the yellow figure bolted, ducking behind another building, and was gone.

My jaw dropped, realizing what had just happened.

"That…" I stuttered, "…That was Philpe! He freaking burned down that building!" My Pokemon looked at me.

"You think so?" Kona asked, "It was hard to tell."

"It was purple and yellow," I said, "Philpe stole the Warden's hat, so it makes sense. Oh, and the yelling. Philpe's a yeller."

"But why in the world would Philpe burn down a building if he knows he's in deep shit in this place?" Rex questioned as I closed the window and crawled back into our room. I shrugged.

"He likes living on the edge, I guess," I replied, before turning to the new subject at hand, "But enough about him. We need to worry about me. I'm 99.99% certain that the Warden already knows about that fallen structure, and that he knows Philpe is to blame."

"So he's gonna be at your throat about this," Kona concluded. I nodded, and walked towards the door.

"I need to catch that Pichu," I said, "And fast."

***

As it turns out, catching a Pichu is harder than you would think. I had spent the past four and half hours both trying to track down Philpe, and trying to avoid the Warden's wrath. I had already had a close call with the latter, when I took a wrong turn for the first time in a long time and wound up right in front of his (open) office. The Warden gave me such a deadly look I thought lasers were going to fire out of his eyes. I was out of there fast before he could talk to me.

So now I was wandering the Superjail corridors nearby where I had last seen Philpe, where he had ducked behind and disappeared. I wasn't having much luck, though.

"Jesus, how far could he have gotten?" I muttered to myself, "Dammit, I need to find him before the Warden does. If he finds him first…" I shuddered at the thought of it.

Just then, I heard an odd clattering coming from the ceiling of the hall I was in. I looked up, but there was nothing but a flat ceiling for me to look at. But I heard the clattering again, this time a little further. Shrugging, I decided to follow it. The clanging went all the way down the hallway, until it got to a door and I could hear it banging around behind it.

"Please don't lead down to Hell or something," I prayed, before thrusting open the door and stepping inside. Fortunately, I wasn't in Hell or anything. It was just some old storage room from the looks of it. And I knew were the clanging was coming from. I could now see there were large air vents crisscrossing around the ceiling.

"Hehe," I snickered, running to the center of the room. I could hear whatever was in the vents scurrying closer, and I was going to cut off its path. The second I heard the clattering a few steps away from where I was I jumped up and slammed the air vent as hard as I could. It came loose from the ceiling instantly, and fell to the floor with a loud clanking noise. I also heard surprised screams, and knew I had caught my mystery creature.

"Let's see what I got here," I said cheekily, and quickly kicked the fallen vent to its side, sending the thing inside out. And to my slightly-gleeful surprise, it happened to be just who I was looking forward.

"Jesus Christ, what hit me?" Philpe muttered, pulling himself up from the dusty floor and looking around. I grinned.

"So THAT'S how you've been sneaking around!" I remarked. His ears perked up, and he turned. I saw him grow pale.

"Oh, Dana, I wasn't expecting you…" he said quietly.

"Nether was I, but it just turns out that you're the Pichu I've been looking for," I replied, folding my arms smugly.

"Is that so?" he said like he knew nothing, but I could see from the slightly nervous look in his eye he damn well knew exactly why I was looking for him. I cracked my knuckles.

Yep," I said, "I kinda wanted to talk to you about the… little 'fire' incident you caused." His eyes widened for a split second.

"Um… I'll have you know that wasn't me," he replied. I gave him an irritated look.

"Then how come I saw you run out of the burning building, holding a torch, and then screaming 'ANARCHY!!!'?" I asked calmly.

"That could have been any top hat wearing Pichu," Philpe said quietly, adjusting his hat a little, "I know for a fact it wasn't me!" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, really?" I said.

"Yeah! It was… um… my cousin, Phil! He's _totally_different from me!" the Pichu explained. I gave him a look.

"Philpe, you're not fooling anybody," I said. Suddenly, his little body tensed, and sparks flickered out of his cheeks.

"You're never going to catch me, if that's what you're trying to do!!" he snapped, backing up a little.

"Well, at least we're finally on the same page," I murmured, before walking forward towards Philpe, "Look, buddy, I'm doing this for both of us. You get kicked out, I'm off the hook, and you can go wreak havoc elsewhere."

"That's just it; I like wreaking havoc _here_," he replied stubbornly.

"God, you sound just like those creepy Twins," I snarled.

"What?" Philpe didn't get my reference. Guess he hadn't met the Twins yet.

"Nothing, nothing," I snapped back, "Look, thing is, _I_don't like you wreaking havoc here. Now just let me throw you out of here and we'll all be good and happy, okay?" Philpe paused briefly, and the sparks from his cheeks dissipated. Then, he spoke.

"No," he replied, and suddenly he fired out at me, the sparks back with a vengeance. I had to jump out the way to avoid being electrocuted by the cloak of electricity now covering Philpe's body. I gritted my teeth.

"He's trying to Volt Tackle out of here!! Gah, damn selective breeding!" I snarled to myself, and instantly went Ninetales to run after him. I followed the fast-moving Pichu all the way down the hall I had just been in, but his Volt Tackle was definitely giving him a speed boost. Soon he started taking some weird turns and I didn't know where the hell I was anymore, which made it all the more annoying. Not that it mattered. The only thing on my mind was to catch that Philpe.

"You're not gonna get away from me!" I shrieked, picking up speed.

"Oh yes I am!" Philpe shot back, and his Volt Tackle looked like it got stronger. I snarled, determined to catch him.

I didn't expect assistance from a certain robot.

"What the hell?" I heard Philpe grunt as he slammed into the hard metal outside of Jailbot, his electric cloak withering away. I laughed, stopping short.

"Hey, thanks, Jailbot," I said to the robot, whose face turned from slightly confused looking to happy.

"Gah, I see you're bringing in the big guns now," Philpe growled, trying to find a way around Jailbot. Thankfully Jailbot took up most of the hallway, and was now floated back and forth to deny Philpe any access further. The robot must have recognized Philpe as the creature he had captured and brought to the Warden.

"Actually, no, I didn't know we were going to run into him," I admitted, "But it is a nice turn in my favor." I looked at Philpe, and then at Jailbot, "Hey, Jailbot, mind grabbing him for me?" Jailbot was now deviously happy, and he extended a claw arm to grapple Philpe's small body. The Pichu grunted and groaned from the pain, but I ignored it.

"And that's what you get for messing with me," I said to him. Philpe growled.

"I'm still gonna be wreaking mayhem here," he said, "There's no stopping me." I rolled my eyes.

"Jailbot, let's take him outside," I said. Jailbot happily floated over to a door and nudged it open, revealing what looked a patio. I blinked.

"Why is it that I can't find these sorts of places myself?" I thought aloud, and walked outside. It was nice and peaceful, with no burning buildings around. I looked at Jailbot,

"Okay, Jailbot, do you think you can launch this little trouble maker out of here?" Jailbot's happy face verified he could.

"How would he know where the exit is?" Philpe spat.

"Because he's the one who ensures no one gets out," I mumbled quietly. Philpe narrowed his eyes a little.

"But if that's the case, we're both stuck here," he replied, and grinned a little. I felt a twinge of annoyance.

"No, you see, it's not like that…" I began.

"That what is it like?" he replied, giving me a cocky look. I growled.

"…You should be happy you're actually getting out of this cesspool," I spat I response.

"You'd be surprised," Philpe simply replied. I snarled again, getting fed up with the Pichu very fast.

"Jailbot, launch him out of here," I snapped. Jailbot had a devilishly happy face on as he withdrew an arm tipped with large cannon from his compartment. I blinked, and looked at the weapon.

"Well, that works," I said bluntly, "Okay, plop that Pichu in there!" Instantly Jailbot dropped Philpe in the opening of the cannon.

"Hah, you think a little cannon will stop me?!" I heard him say from inside the cannon, "Well, you're wrong! It takes much more then that! I'll still be running the shots, just now I know to be a bit more… sneakier…" He laughed manically, and I facepalmed.

"Jailbot, get him out of here," I snapped. On cue, the cannon on Jailbot's arm made a few odd clicking sounds, and then there was a big boom. Instantly I saw the yellow and purple body of Philpe go rocketing out, heading farther and farther away from us.

"C'mon… c'mon…" I breathed, clenching my fists. The little shape of Philpe was getting harder and harder to see. Only a little more and he'd be gone from Superjail completely.

Of course, then things went bad. As I watched Philpe fly away, I saw he was flailing his arms frantically. At first I just thought he was trying to slow his speed, but I quickly noticed that his body was beginning to fall towards one of the Superjail buildings. I realized the flailing was to direct his body to a desired landing spot, preferably one inside Superjail.

"Ooooh… crap," I breathed. The only thing I could do was watch in horror as Philpe caught himself on the edge of the building, and stood up.

"SEE, I TOLD YOU!!!" I heard him yell, even from this distance, "HAHAHAHA, SUCKERS!!!" And with that, I saw his small shape dart over the building and behind it, disappearing. I was quiet for a moment, before letting out an irritated moan.

"Well… _that_ went horribly wrong…" I muttered, "I have a feeling I need to tell the Warden about this…"

In response to that, Jailbot suddenly extended a claw arm, gripping my wrist. I blinked, realizing he was going to deliver me to the Warden once again.

"Oh, um, Jailbot, you don't really have to do that… honestly, please, don't…" I said in an attempt to stop him, but it was way too late for it. By the time I got it out the robot was already zipping down the hallway, and I had to use my free hand to grip his side so I wouldn't get myself decapitated or something.

Finally, I could see we were not far from the Warden's office. I smiled a little, trying not to freak over the situation, and patted Jailbot.

"You know, you can stop here…" I said. However, I was ignored. No, instead of stopping outside the door like last time, Jailbot went the whole nine yards. That robot went smashing _right through the damn wall_. In a flurry of plaster and dust and stuff, Jailbot floated right on through into the Warden's office as if he had simply used the front door.

I peered up from the robot's back. The Warden was at his desk, par usual, but I also noticed Jared was in the room as well. I could hear him screaming something about how that wall was going to need to be fixed. I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly, before Jailbot's retracted the claw on my wrist and jumped down.

"Um… greetings, guys…" I proclaimed as I jumped down, careful to avoid the fallen wall bits. The Warden shot up, and gave me a fiery look.

"Oh, well, well, well, look who it is" he spat. I grimaced, knowing he was still pissed at me about the hat thing (and now probably the burning building thing and the fact Philpe was still loose too). Anyway, I shook it off and stood my ground.

"I know what you're gonna say," I said, "And I know Philpe is still loose. But believe me, the next time I see him, he will be captured!" I blinked hopefully, praying the Warden wouldn't kill right then and there. The purple clad man stood up, and walked around his desk to me.

"Yes, yes, I'm aware the rat creature is still here," he said to me, very calmly. I stared at the golden carpet, waiting for the storm to come.

It never came.

"BUT!" the Warden added, and my head shot up, "I'm also aware the fact he's still loose isn't technically you're fault, seeing as you were in the process of removing him when he fled. Therefore, I'm giving you another chance." I nodded vigorously.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" I proclaimed, "Like I said, next time I see him, I'll get him out of here."

"Yeah, yeah, just don't forget that promise," Warden replied sternly. I grinned in reply.

"So… you aren't mad about that, um, fire, are you?" I asked. Well, I was going to have to mention it sometime.

"FIRE?!" Jared suddenly piped up. He looked frantically at the Warden, "You never told me anything about fire, sir!" The Warden, however, ignored him.

"It's fine, Dana," he said, "The building wasn't a big loss. I'll be happy just so long as you catch that rodent." I nodded.

"I know, I know, and I will," I answered firmly, telling both myself and the Warden that I had to do this. Besides, God only knows what would happen if I didn't.

"But, but, sir, fire damage creates enormous costs! What are we supposed to do?!" Jared shrieked, still caught up over the fire thing.

"Geez, Jared, take a chill pill!" the Warden snapped, turning to the short accountant and putting his hands on his hips.

"But sir…!" Jared whined. The Warden just rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Honestly… what am I going to do with you?" he grumbled, before turning his yellow tinted eyes on me, "Oh, you can leave now, Dana. Besides, don't you have something to go track down?" He gave me an arrogant grin. I returned it, and began backing out of the room.

"Yes, yes," I said, "I'm on it." And with that, I bolted out the door, calmly shutting it behind me as I went out. I had a feeling there was going to be some Warden-esque fireworks at Jared back there, and I didn't rally want to be around to see them.

_Hmm… well, no what? _I thought, pondering my options, _I could go after Philpe, but I have no clue where he was going. He probably took to the air vents again…_

"Hey, wait, I know!" I said, snapping my fingers, "I've been through enough trouble today. Surely the Warden will understand if I take a little break, no?" I snickered to myself, and began walking to my quarters. I decided I wasn't going to go chasing after that wayward Pichu again just yet. Instead, I was going to just hang out for once. Because Superjail may be a hectic, fast-moving thing, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to have be one too.

* * *

_Mmm... yep. Philpe's a tricky one, ain't he? With his building burning and hat stealing and his shoutings of anarchy._

_Speaking of that last one, that's another scene I got from old drawings of mine, in this case one of the Pichu in question standing in the doorway of a burning building screaming "ANARCHY!". When I first had the idea for this fic I thought of it, and I wanted to put it in somewhere. And, hey, now I have!_

_Oh, and the interjection of "Holy Tim Curry in fishnets" comes directly from a friend of mine who suggested it. Cookie to anyone who can guess what it's from. _

_So, anyhow, read and leave some spiffy reveiws, people. I like to know what you think of this. ;D_


	6. The Clone

_Hello, hello, all. Apologies for being a bit behind with this chapter. School and stuff is a bit draining. Dx But, hey, I'm back now, with more Pokemon-and-Superjail goodness! _

_Thanks for the reviews, too. Every one I get makes me smile. :) Now, onto the adventure (and maybe a few surprises)!_

_Pokemon, Superjail, and a house on a beach in Hawaii. All things I don't own._

* * *

Well, I can't really say I was breaking my promise to the Warden. I said I'd get Philpe out of Superjail the next time I saw him, and I would. The only problem was, Philpe had disappeared. The last time I saw him was when he fled after being launched into the air by Jailbot's cannon. By now, who knows where he went? The only thing could do was hope I'd catch sight of the little yellow hell raiser, and soon.

Thankfully, even with that slight obstacle, I'd managed to stay on the Warden's good side. I still went around doing my other "assistantly" duties, and whenever he brought up Philpe I'd just shoot him an "I'm workin' on it" and that'd be that. So, in a sense, everything was good.

A few days after the Pichu-fiasco occurred, the Warden called me in my room over the intercom.

"DANA DANA DANA DANA DANA!!!!" he shrieked gleefully over the system, making me flinch.

"…yeah?" I asked, glancing up at the box-shaped machine. My Pokemon, who were also in the room at the time, were keenly watching.

"I have something _marvelous_ to show you~!" the Warden sounded even more ecstatic than normal. I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad one.

"Aaaaand… what is it?" Either way, my attention was grasped.

"I can't just _tell _you, I have to _show_ you!" came Warden's response, "Meet me down at the labs. It's where's it's at!"

"Where the hell are the labs?" Rex commented gruffly.

"Rex has a point," I added, "Just where exactly are these 'labs' you speak of?"

"Don't worry about where they are," Warden replied, "There's an elevator not too far from your room. Just push the Lab button and it'll take you there lickety-split! Now hurry up and get down here!" And with a maniacal giggle, he zapped out. I blinked in silence.

"Do you think we should go?" Kona questioned, breaking the quiet. I stood up from where I was sitting on the lounge bed after a moment, and nodded.

"There's a good chance whatever the warden's got down there could potentially destroy us, but I'm interested enough to see what it is," I responded, and headed for the door. My Pokemon were quick to follow.

"This should be _fun_," Emily said sarcastically as she and Hibiscus scurried up to my shoulders, "So very, very _fun_." I rolled my eyes.

"Now, where's that elevator…?" I questioned as we headed out into the hall. My eyes scanned the corridor, looking for anything that vaguely resembled an elevator.

"I think the sign that says Elevator is a good start," Rex bluntly pointed out. I blinked, and noticed where he was looking. Sure enough, there was a blinking neon sign that said "ELEVATOR". My jaw dropped momentarily.

"Well…yeah… that seems about right…" I said, and walked over, pushing a button on the wall. I heard a ding, and the doors swung open, revealing the inside of the elevator. It just happened to be the elevator I rode in when I first got here. My stomach lurched.

"Okay, in we go, guys," I said, slightly queasy, as I herded my Pokemon in.

"It's kinda cramped," Kona whimpered. I shrugged.

"It's only for a few moments," I responded, saying that to comfort both my Pokemon and myself. I looked at the selection of buttons. There were a ton, par usual, but I quickly spotted the one that said "laboratory". Smirking, I pressed it.

I really should have seen this coming. The elevator rocketed downward the second my finger made contact with the button, and we all screamed in agony.

"It's only for a few moments! It's only for a few moments!" I tried to reassure, but it didn't help. We just went lower and lower and lower until finally there was ding, and the elevator stopped.

"Nice one, Dana," Emily snarled from somewhere in the pileup we had formed in the elevator. Fortunately, I was towards the top, so I got up just as the doors swung open. Stepping outside, I helped my Pokemon out, until we were all safe from the Elevator From Hell, Part II.

"Oh good, you're here~!" No sooner had we gotten out did I hear the Warden's cheerful tone, and the man popped down from the ceilings before us, "The project is in the holding area. I can't wait to show you!!!"

"Okay, great, I-" I was cut off by the Warden grabbed my arm and dragging me along the thing hallway, my Pokemon having to run to follow. Seconds later, the hall opened up, and we were in a room.

I could tell it was the labs I'd been hearing so much about. There were strange machines all about, and bubbling tubes. But in the center of the room was a huge spherical machine, with liquid filled tubes streaming in and out of it.

"Warden, Warden," a gruff sounding voice emitted from behind the big machine. A hideously grotesque looking person stepped out. He was wearing a lab coat.

"Doctor, Doctor~!" the Warden replied, merrily leaping over, "The project is ready, isn't it?"

"That Doctor looks like the kind that gets sued for malpractice every two weeks," Emily muttered, and I stifled a laugh.

"Yes, it is ready," the "Doctor" said, "It can be released anytime you're ready."

"Oh, good, good, open it now!" Warden was jumping up and down like an excited schoolchild. The Doctor muttered a few things, and stepped back behind the machine.

"Okay, so what's this project here that you're so intent on showing me?" I finally asked, since I was curious. The Warden grinned.

"Well, you see, dearie, I got this little idea while ago. I decided I wanted to create something that has those spiffy fighting skill you have" he explained. I grinned at the mention of my so-called "abilities", "I wanted to find some way to duplicate those effects."

"So…?" I was now heavily interested as to what he was going to say.

"So, I borrowed a bit of your weird foxy-form fur," he said. I blinked. I didn't remember him taking any fur from me when I was around him in my Ninetales form the past couple of days. But then again, this is the Warden I'm talking about, so he probably grabbed it with his weird ass powers.

"Okay, you took part of my fur," I said, forming a conclusion, "And… I'm assuming that with it you cloned me?" It sounded like it made sense. He wanted to duplicate my "strengths", and he took some DNA to do it. That's how they made Mewtwo, right?

"Hehehe, well, almost," Warden replied, "Along with your powers, I wanted to incorporate Jailbot's abilities too. Not that there's anything wrong with him, but I could always use a backup here in my wonderful incarceration chamber. So, I took part of his hard drive, and mixed it with your DNA." I stood rigid for a moment at that, slowly digesting that information. The way he said that, it sounded like he was trying to mix me and Jailbot together in one, heavily awesome, mega-destroyer creature! And I decided to let him know.

"Heh, well, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to make a splice of me and Jailbot, a mixture clone of both of us," I said, and smirked.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do," Warden dryly responded. I went slack jawed.

"But… but… how can you mix together robotic materials with living DNA?!" I asked, vaguely forgetting for the moment that pretty much anything could happen in Superjail.

"Like this," Warden said, and at the moment the large spherical machine in front of us whirred to life. I heard strange sounds like locks becoming undone, and slowly I saw as the sides of machine pushed outward, releasing pillars of steam.

"Well, this should be interesting," Rex remarked.

"Nyah Na Nah Nah," Hibiscus agreed. I nodded dumbly.

For the next few moments the machine continued to push outward, reminding me of a giant metallic flower blooming. I watched in awe as the "project" inside became more and more visible. Finally, we could all see what it was.

"Holy crap…" I breathed. There it was, floating in the center of the now open machine. It was ghostly white, the same color as Jailbot, but with a small gray patch of fur on its chest. Its face and snout were black, and there were no eyes, no nose, and really no facial features at all on it. A plume of white fur fell down its back from its head. There was no mistaking it; that was a Ninetales all right.

And then I noticed the tails. There were nine of them, of course, and they fell limp down the ground, scraping the bottom of the machinery. But they weren't average tails. They were Jailbot arms. Each tail was a long, metallic silver appendage, most of which tipped with a steel claw, save for the tails at the beginning and end of the tail-clump. They were tipped with big, shiny axes.

"By George, he's really done it," Kona said in shock, "It's a Jailbot Ninetales!"

"Can that really be…?" I mumbled, "My clone, made from my DNA? Is that even possible?"

"Well, clearly it is, as you can see," the Warden said bluntly. I snapped out of my daze, and looked at him, "Don't forget, this beauty was made from Jailbot too. Her name is Jailbot Vixn, and this is her first time ever going online, as you can see."

"She's amazing," I said, "But… not very lively."

"Well, of course," Warden replied, snapping his fingers, "Doctor, activate her!" There was a loud buzzing sound from behind the machine, and suddenly two wires swung down and connected to Vixn's head. I watched as two blasts of electricity were coursed into her, and the wires swung back. Then there was silence.

"Looks like a dud," Emily remarked.

"Wait for it… wait for it…" Warden said eagerly. We waited for it.

Finally, there was a whirring sound, like a machine starting up, and Vixn's face appeared on her black head. It was Jailbot's face, a simple neon green emoticon, but it included a nose too.

"Aw, it's cute!" Kona exclaimed. Vixn looked around, face blank, and she slowly hovered over to where we were, her tails twitching. I stepped back, not wanting to be on the wrong end of those axe tails.

"Welcome to life, Jailbot Vixn," the Warden said to the Jailbot Ninetales. He reached out and patted her snout, causing her face to turn adorably happy. She let out a noise that sounded a bit like a chainsaw whirring. The Warden turned to me, "Vixn here has been programmed with all of Jailbot's features, your mindset, and a few extra features too. I wanted her to be perfect." I raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of extra features?" I asked.

"She's got a special lock-on feature. Once Vixn locks on a target, she won't stop until it's removed or she gets a new objective. Oh, and she'll destroy any distraction that gets in the way," the Warden sounded awfully happy saying that.

"That sounds a bit outrageous," I replied cautiously.

"I didn't think so."

"Eh… okay…" I decided not to delve further, and instead meet Vixn for myself. I went Ninetales, and whistled slightly to catch Vixn's attention. The clone turned, and quickly floated over to me, before firmly placing her four paws on the ground. I noted that; seemed she could walk as well as float.

"Hello, clone of me," I said, sniffing at Vixn. The Jailbot Ninetales returned the motion, and its face turned happy. I glanced at the Warden, "So, since she's a clone of me and Jailbot, does that make her a cyborg?"

"I guess so," he replied, "I mean, she _is_ technically alive." I chuckled, and went back human.

"A cyborg clone, heh, never thought I'd see that," I said.

There was a brief pause after that, as if we didn't quite know what else to speak of about this current subject.

"Can we see her in action?" Rex finally broke the silence. He was gazing at Vixn, looking her over, "You know, see how she fights?"

"That sounds like a fantabulous idea~!" the Warden said, quickly bouncing around in glee, "Vixn, go out to the prison yard on the surface level, and destroy any prisoners you deem unruly."

Vixn turned deviously happy at that, and she quickly floated up to the ceiling of the room. I watched as a compartment on her chest (one I hadn't noticed) opened up, and a long arm tipped with a big gun slithered out. There was a loud BANG, a shower of plaster and ceiling, and then the cyborg was gone, leaving nothing but a large hole in the ceiling.

"Wow, she's quite over-the-top," Emily muttered from my shoulder, "Just like you, Dana."

"Nyah Nah," Hibiscus snorted. I grinned slightly.

"Hey, that makes it awesome," I replied, no longer worrying about the project destroying us. I turned back to the Warden, who was now walking down the hall from which we came, "So, should we follow you?"

"I suppose you should," the purple-dressed man called back. I nodded to my Pokemon, and we followed him down the hall. Soon, we were back at the Doomy Elevator.

"Oh God, not this again…" Rex muttered.

"Are you sure we can't just take the stairs?" I asked hopefully. The Warden laughed, and opened up the elevator, stepping inside.

"This way is more _fuuuuun_," he purred, which I suppose meant 'no'. Defeated, we walked onboard. The Warden pushed a button on the side, and just as last time, the elevator went shooting off at very unsafe speed. The only difference this time was that the Warden added some laughter to our screaming of bloody murder.

Finally, the hellish ride ended with a ding, and the doors swung opened. This time they led outside. We all walked out, and I looked around at the prison yard before us. Last time I was here I had only seen it from windows and such. But down here it appeared much more… dull, compared to the rest of Superjail. It was kind of like the cellblocks.

"So, where's the clone?" Emily asked. There were numerous inmates wandering about the prison yard, but no cyborg Ninetales killing everybody.

"She'll be here," the Warden assured us, "Give her a minute." I looked at him.

"Hey, while we wait, why don't we call the original Jailbot? I'm sure he'd like to see how his hard drive was put to good use," I suggested. The Warden appeared to think hard about it, before grinning.

"Why, that's a wonderful idea~! I'll call him right now!" he chirped, and spun around on his cane (which, I might add, he materialized from nowhere), "Oh, JAILBOT!!!"

Seconds later, there was a loud smash, and the original floating refrigerator of a robot floated on over to us, looking happy as can be. I patted his side, but quickly stepped back to let him know I didn't want another crushing hug.

"Jailbot, I wanted to show you the marvelous clone I've made of you and Dana!" Warden explained to Jailbot, "Her name is Vixn, and I want you to treat her with respect!" Jailbot appeared sad for a moment at that, almost confused, but it quickly passed when there was another loud crash from a little ways away from us, and Jailbot Vixn came rocketing out of the ground, "Ah, there she is now! Quiet, quiet, let's watch!"

The Jailbot Ninetales floated in the air for a moment, looking at all the inmates, which looked back at her. A few them seemed to realize how much it resembled the Jailbot that generally terrorized them, and began to flee.

They were the first to die.

Vixn acted quickly, firing forward and swinging her tails about. I watched as she used her axe tails to neatly slice a few of the inmates in half, which decorated the glimmering hatchet-esque tails with a fresh splattering of blood. Her claw arms were also used, going off in all directions to grapple prisoners and throw them like rag dolls. Occasionally, a gun or a flamethrower would extend from her chest compartment, and was used as needed.

My Pokemon and I stood in shock and amazement. I decided Vixn probably had more Jailbot in her than me, because I could never be destructive. Well, I could be if I was really angry, but that's another story…

Finally, though, Vixn was done ravaging most of the inmates in the yard, and she floated on over to where we happened to be. Her face was happy, and she touched down onto the ground, before trotting over to the Warden.

"Good job, Vixn, good job!" he congratulated. I heard the chainsaw noise again from the cyborg. I guess that was its sole method of communication, because it appeared to not be able to talk.

"Psh, suck up," I muttered, watching Vixn nuzzled up against the Warden's side.

I looked over at Jailbot, whose face appeared blank. Slowly he extended a claw arm, and touched Vixn's side. The Jailbot Ninetales, jumped back, surprised. However, it quickly was overtaken by curiosity, and it was sniffing at Jailbot just like it had done with me. Finally, its face appeared happy. I was glad that it appeared to like me and Jailbot. Clones can be unpredictable, you know.

"Sir!"

We all turned, only to see a completely spastic Jared running towards us, sweat practically spewing off his mondo-forehead.

"Gah, what is it now, Jared?" the Warden sounded exasperated at the sight of the accountant. Vixn looked at Jared, and I swore I saw her face grow angry for a split-second. Oh well, I probably just imagined it.

"Sir, there's a problem in Sector 67, and it need attention immedia-WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Jared's rambling of the "Sector 67" problem was cut short as his beady eyes caught sight of Vixn. The Warden laughed.

"Oh, this is the new Jailbot Vixn. You remember, that clone I kept talking about?" he explained giddily. Jared appeared to sweat more.

"I didn't think you were actually going to go through with that, sir!" he cried, flailing his arms.

"You're so silly, you know that?" Warden sounded oblivious, though I knew it was most likely something otherwise, "Now, what's this about Sector 67?"

"Inmates, everywhere, sir! A fire broke out, and all hell's breaking loose! It needs to be handled NOW!" the panicky accountant looked about ready to jump out of his skin, but the Warden just laughed it off.

"Oh, is that all?" he said, and snapped his fingers, "Vixn, do you think you can handle that? It's a nice, easy mission for you." The Jailbot Ninetales floated upward, tails swishing around. I squinted, her facial expression catching my eye. The cyborg looked almost… smug.

"Somebody's playing favorites…" Rex commented dryly, and I nodded, a bit absorbed.

"Are you certain that… thing can handle it?" Jared quietly peeped. The warden narrowed his yellow tinted eyes.

"Are you defying my _wonderful _creation?" he snapped. Jared began freaking out. Again.

"N-n-no, sir, I wasn't! It should be fine!" he shrieked.

"It better. Now, don't you have some… accountanty stuff to work on?"

"Yes sir!" And with that, Jared ran off whimpering. The Warden snorted.

"I don't know why I keep him around sometimes…" he growled irritably. I tore my eyes away from Vixn, looked briefly at the man in purple, before looking at Jailbot. The robot appeared very glum.

"Hey, Warden, I think Jailbot wants to go handle that problem," I said slowly, pointing at the gloomy robot. The Warden eyed him.

"Hmm… nah," he finally concluded, making me growl slightly, "Vixn needs more opportunities to test her strengths. This is perfect for her. Besides, you can take a little break from your duties every now and then, can't you, Jailbot?" he coyly patted the robot's side.

I know I saw Jailbot's emoticon turn angry for a brief flicker, before returning to a blank one.

"Now go, my creation!" the Warden shouted to my cyborg clone, and Jailbot Vixn began to arise, "Go fix that problem!" With a vicious chainsaw roar, she took off, brutally knocking Jailbot to the side with one of her axe-tails. My body tensed once again, not just at this treatment, but at a less noticeable feature.

As Vixn took off through the Superjail sky I caught sight of her emotional features. They appeared their normal green, but as she zooming further and further I could swear a saw them flicker, turning a blood red shade, before instantly going back. I couldn't be sure though. In fact, the only thing I was sure of was the worried feeling in my stomach.

"Well, Vixn certainly is… interesting…" Rex remarked, watching the cyborg fly away.

"I don't think 'interesting' really fit's the bill,' Kona muttered in response, while I just stood there in slight shock.

"Ehehehe, she's simply wonderful, dontcha think?" the Warden suddenly chirped as he began walking to a door on a nearby wall that appeared out of nowhere. He was grinning happily, and I bit my lip.

"Great…" I said quietly, "Just great." I couldn't get much more in, for he was soon gone, off to who-knows-where. I swallowed hard, and looked at the sky.

"What's wrong, Dana?" Kona asked, sensing my stress.

"Something isn't right about that Vixn, guys," I responded, "Not right at all."

* * *

_Ehehehehe, now, how many of you saw THAT coming, eh? Last time it was Philpe, this time it's a demented, cyborg Jailbot-Ninetales crossbreed._

_Vixn herself came into my mind from coming up with a character to match my DA profile (where my username is, in fact, JailbotNinetales). I doodled her design during school, and she just took off. School, I've noticed, is where I've been getting a lot of my ideas from. xD Hey, maybe I really am learning something there._

_That's all for now, folks. This is the part where you leave some spiffy reviews. ;D_


	7. Nightmarish Rebellion

_Here, here, with another Thrust Into Insanity instalment for you all. This is part two of "The Jailbot Ninetales Incident", what I'm planning to be an arc. _

_So... not much else to saw, so i'm just gonna shut up and let you enjoy the story. Cheers._

_Last time I checked, I'm not getting Pokemon or Superjail for Christmas, so until I do I don't own either._

* * *

"Let's go guys, hurry it up," I snapped as I briskly headed down the winding hallway to our quarters. My Pokemon were lagging behind me.

"Awww, why do we gotta go back to the room already?" Emily moaned, walking the furthest behind. I knew she rather enjoyed behind able to wreak havoc in the outer Superjail parts. Oh well, she could suffer.

"Because I don't feel safe with that damn Jailbot Vixn floating around outside, okay?" I responded harshly, finally reaching the door of our room and practically shoving it open.

"Oh, but you felt _so safe _with the mass amounts of violent criminals out there, right?" Rex snarled sarcastically as he and my other little abominations filed into the room. I growled right back at him.

"At this point, yes," I replied, walking over the bay window and sitting at its edge, "You guys didn't see her face when she was flying away before. I saw it. And I swear I saw it turn red. Angry red. The red that makes it look like it wants to go on a rampage!" I began biting on my fingernails, a nervous habit of mine.

"Nyah Na Nyah Na," Hibiscus said, walking over and looking up at me. I paused, gazing at her.

"You just don't get it," I moaned, "If my ideas are correct, and that thing does rebel against her creators, then I have a feeling she's going after me."

"Nyah?"

"Because she's a clone, and clones always go and attack their originals. It's, like, a proven fact." Hibiscus let out a soft sign, and walked back to where my other Pokemon were, close to the lounge bed, glaring at me. I rolled my eyes at them in response. I knew I was probably overreacting, but I just couldn't shake the tight feeling in my stomach. Something bad was going to happen…

"Oh, come on, Dana, why can't you be like the Warden and just be happy about this thing? This is your clone! Made from you! You should be honored," I said to myself, turning to look out the window, "Besides, it's not like Vixn has shown any hatred of you direc-- OH MY LORD." I interrupted myself mid-sentence because of what was starting me down on the other side of the window.

There, face to face with me, was Jailbot Vixn herself. But something about her face was odd. It was now flickering like a glitchy screen, the emoticon itself staying mostly a blank expression. I stepped back, the tight feeling in my stomach growing stronger.

"Well, that's interesting…" I heard Rex comment from behind me. I nodded.

"Now do you see where my worries are coming from?" I finally squeaked. As soon as I said that, Vixn turned around and flew off, disappearing as quickly as she appeared. I shuddered. That glitchy face was not any comforting to this situation.

"What was up with her?" Kona questioned, sounding generally confused. I wheeled around.

"I think it was fairly obvious," I replied, tense, "That cyborg is in the beginning stages of turning evil and destroying us all. Or, in particular, me." I looked at my friends, who were still giving me blank stares

"I think you're just overreacting," Emily spat out irritably. She flexed her claws, "That was probably just a glitch in the programming or something."

"Yeah, I wouldn't get too worked up about it, Dana," Rex agreed. I growled, growing quickly exasperated by my Pokemon's indifference. How could they not seem the imminent dilemma in this?!

"You just keep telling yourself that, then," I finally grumbled out.

Suddenly, the crinkling sound of the intercom filled our ears, and my eyes hot to the little box in the corner, sensing it was the Warden.

"Dana, get over here!" It was indeed the Wonka-clone alright, but the tone of his voice made me panic. He sounded worried.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's… something with Vixn. Oh, hurry up and get over here!" I shot my Pokemon a smoldering glance when he mentioned Vixn. In reply they looked either slightly ashamed or in deep puzzlement. I couldn't tell. Anyway, I noticed the Warden sounded rather far away.

"Where exactly are you?" I asked, even though my I was already heading for the door.

"I'm in one of the prison yards. Not the one we were in earlier, a different one. I'll send an elevator. Just get here NOW! Oh gawd…" Warden moaned, and I knew this was serious. Well, more serious then I first intended it to be, anyway. And that meant this was _extremely _serious. I opened the door and bolted out, my Pokemon quickly following.

"Now do you see it?! NOW?!" I snapped at them. They visibly flinched.

"Nyah Na…" Hibiscus whimpered a she leapt up and onto my shoulder, Emily doing the same.

"I still think it's just a glitch," my Weavile muttered, "A slightly murderous glitch, but a glitch nonetheless." I growled at her.

"Do you think this has something to do with Vixn appearing before us?" Kona asked quietly. I spotted the elevator the Warden said he'd send, and as we approached the doors dinged open. We quickly squished inside.

"What do you think, Kona?" I replied bitterly to my Floatzel, who squeaked a little. I rolled my eyes, and looked at the buttons on the elevator. One of them in particular was lighting up. It said "Prison Yard 4". I nodded to myself, and pressed that one.

I knew my views on the problem at hand were serious when even the hellish ride that elevator produced didn't faze me. I was too caught up with worry. What was Vixn doing? Well, obviously it was something terrible; even I could figure that out without using the past evidence. The panicked sound of the Warden's voice was enough in itself.

A few moments later, the elevator opened itself, and revealed what was going on out in the yard.

It was chaos. I thought there were a ton of prisoners out in the other yard we had been in, but here that total seemed tiny. There were hundreds of prisoners scattered about, but most were fleeing. And they were fleeing from the demonic beast hovering above them all: Jailbot Vixn. I swallowed, and my Pokemon and I ran out. As we approached, I could see what Vixn's face was now a deep, blood red instead of green, the color I had seen it change before. She appeared manically happy, almost sadistic. And I could see what she was doing.

She appeared to be deep in a battle with Jailbot. Yes, the clone was fighting the original, just like I had thought up. The only difference was that she was after her robotic original, and not, at this time, myself. Vixn using her two powerful axe tails to deliver blows (while the other claws, I might add, were shooting down, catching inmates and ripping them apart, for the hell of it), and Jailbot using his own claws to try and defend himself. From the looks of things, Jailbot was losing.

"Well… would you look at that?" Rex remarked bluntly, as he and my other Pokemon stared up at the battling cyborg.

"This is why you people should listen to me," I grumbled in response, my eyes not leaving the scene.

"Oh thank goodness, you're finally here," a new voice said. I turned around, and looked at the much stressed Warden approaching us. He looked a little battered.

"What's going on here, Warden?" I asked dryly, even though at this point I pretty much knew.

"Vixn… she malfunctioned, I think. After she fixed that stupid fire problem, we were testing how well she could do her programmed duties when her face glitched and turned red like that. She just started attacking Jailbot," he explained, taking off his top hat and running a hand through his bristly hair.

"You look like you tried to stop the fight yourself," I said. I decided not to mention the fact she had appeared before us. Besides, from the looks on my Pokemon they knew as well as I did that it was connected to this right now. And, well, that I had been right all along, but that was a different story.

"Well, I tried to, but Vixn attacked me, too. The horror!" he moaned, "I was actually going to have Jared fix the problem, but when he saw her all crazy like that he screamed and ran. Psh, really, you can get _no help _around here. So, I called you in."

"You're a smart man," I breathed, and turned back around. Jailbot was looking worse for wear from Vixn's constant strikes.

_Must be the Pokemon part of her coming out_, I thought, _only they have the battling skills like that. _

"Man, Jailbot's getting his ass kicked," Kona stated as he and my Pokemon watched the robot and cyborg clash, "I don't think that's just a malfunction."

"Then what else is it?" the Warden asked, his voice a bit testy. I gave him a look.

"You said yourself that Vixn is alive," I said, before taking in a deep breath. I was going to have to go through my "the-clone-wants-the-original-dead speech again, "Living things don't malfunction. No, I think this more. I think she wants to destroy her originals."

"Oh, not this again…" Emily hissed. I was about the smack her when she quickly added, "Even if it probably is true." So, I went on.

"I mean, since that Jailbot Ninetales is a clone, she's built in with the want to destroy the originals, me and Jailbot, and take our places. It's implanted in, like, every clone ever made. Pure fact. She's starting on Jailbot. It's her _target_. And as you said, Warden, she won't stop until her _target_ is destroyed." I growled slightly, "This prospect seemed too good to begin with."

"Well, if you're suggesting that," the Warden said in response, "How come she hasn't acknowledged you yet?" I flinched, deciding that I was going to have to let him know about her appearance after all.

Well, you see, she kinda did," I said, "She appeared in our window in the quarters. I freaked out. Her face was glitchy, flickering like some spazzy computer." The Warden nodded unsurely, as if he wasn't totally convinced even though I had practically shoved this evidence in his face.

"Um, Dana, do you have a minute?" Suddenly, Rex's urgent voice stopped the current conversation. I looked down at him.

"Yes, what is it, Rex?" I asked sharply.

"I think she might be acknowledging you again," he said, and pointed forward. My other Pokemon nodded. I blinked and looked.

My eyes met the red pixilated ones of Vixn. She was gazing at me now from her spot in the air, her tails whipping about. I swallowed. I think she might have found a new target. Behind her, Jailbot was hovering weakly about five inches off the ground. I could tell from the dents he had been beaten, badly.

"Warden," I breathed to Mr. Purple, "You go see if Jailbot's okay. I'll deal with this thing." The Warden stood his ground for a moment, looking annoyed, but I could see he knew his Wardeny powers couldn't help the situation right now, so he walked to Jailbot. Of course, his other reasoning as that he wanted to be nowhere near the floating cyborg demon before us. Speaking of which, it was no floating closer, and its tails were beginning to swish forward, poising to strike. I stepped back sharply, and looked down at my Pokemon.

"Don't worry guys," I said, "I have a plan."

"And that would be…?" Emily asked, just as freaked as the rest of us.

"Run for our goddamn lives," I replied, and quickly did just that. My Pokemon wasted no time following as we ran, screaming, down the prison yard. Vixn followed instantly, letting out a ferocious cry that sounded like a very large chainsaw about to slice into a tree.

I turned my head slightly as I bolted along, and swallowed. The Jailbot Ninetales was much faster than I anticipated. It was already almost upon us, and it fired two claw tails forward.

"Dodge it, guys!" I commanded, rolling to the side to avoid the claws. Hibiscus and Emily shrieked simultaneously, and decided my shoulders were the safest places to be, while Rex and Kona did their best to duck and cover.

This was what it was like for a long while. My friends did only what we could do: run, scream, and try not to get chopped up like sushi. All the while I tried to figure out if I could do more, if I could stop Vixn. Every now and then the Warden screamed at me to do just that, and it wasn't helping.

"Try to shut her down!" he called at one point as I rushed by. He was still checking over Jailbot.

That's a bit hard, seeing as I'm trying not to die!" I spat back, and narrowly dodged a swinging axe tail. For the most part I noticed Vixn was after me, only going after my Pokemon if they happened to get in the way. She was programmed just like the Warden said she was: to not stop until the target was removed, and to destroy any distractions that get in the way. I myself was hoping for a distraction to come up that wasn't one of my Pokemon, because maybe it would buy enough time for me to figure out how to stop it.

Finally, though, a distraction did come. And it came in the form of the top-hat wearing Pichu I had been assigned to remove from Superjail in the first place.

"What the hell is all this then?" I heard his voice before I saw him, and it made me stop in my tracks. There, not too far away, was Philpe, his purple hat still atop his head, though he himself looked bedraggles, most likely from hiding out in the air vents and God-knows-where so I wouldn't catch him.

"Philpe?!" I said in shock. The Pichu barely acknowledged my presence with a twitch of his ears. He was too absorbed by Vixn, said cyborg also watching him. I gritted my teeth, both worried and slightly thoughtful. Maybe if that Jailbot Ninetales destroyed Philpe I'd get out of having to get rid of him.

"Holy hell… what _is _that?" Philpe said, folding his tiny paws, "Looks like a weird-ass cross between that tin can robot and Dana."

"Hey, I'm right here, ya know!" I snapped, briefly taking in that Vixn might be taking Philpe's words as an insult. And that the cyborg was probably seeing the Pichu as a threat right now too. Not good.

"It's going make Philpe into chop suey!" Emily commented, still perched on my shoulder with Hibiscus.

"Nyah Na Nah Nyah," my Skitty agreed. Rex and Kona were also watching, bit a farther from where I was.

"I mean really, I thought the other jail guard robot was bad enough, but now there's this one?" Philpe was still taking, "Jesus, I just want to hang around a little while! There's no need to start making more critters to come after me! And a Pokemon-based one no less! Is this an insult or something…?" I groaned.

"Philpe, shut up, will you? That thing has nothing to do with you!" I yelled at him.

_Well, actually, if Vixn sees him as a distraction and tries to destroy him, then this _will_ have something to do with him… _I thought, but quickly shook it out of my mind, "Do you not see the axe tails?!"

"Oh, I see them alright," Philpe replied, "But if that's the best you got, that's just sad. I can outrun that thing any day, axes and all." I let out an infuriated growl, getting more and more agitated by each of Philpe's words. And I could see Vixn slowly advancing towards him as well, which wasn't helping.

"Please stop having a gigantic ego, Philpe," I finally spat, unable to think of anything else. The Pichu turned, glancing at me.

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm gonna be faced with trash like that thing," he said, and flicked a paw in Vixn's direction.

And that was what did it. I think that insult about her axes pushed Vixn over the edge. Letting out the chainsaw roar again, she fired forward, rising up one axe tail, before swinging it back down, right at Philpe. I looked at him. As the axe blade became closer, I could see in his eyes that he had realized that he could in fact NOT outrun that blade even if he tried. No, he was going to be more inclined to have that blade slice right into him. And as much as I pondered what would happen if I had Philpe dead and out of the way, I had to do something.

"I'm so gonna regret this," I sighed as I bolted forward in a boost of speed, faster than I had gone before. Hibiscus and Emily had to jump off, I was going so fast. I rammed right into Philpe as the axe blade was about to strike him, and threw him back.

I was not without my sacrifice, though. As I was pushing him back, the axe blade glanced off my upper arm, making me hiss in pain. I blinked a minute, trying to let the sharp tears of pain pass, before glancing up at Vixn. She was growling.

"You know, you should really stick to killing inmates," I spat at the cyborg clone. It red, angry face looked even angrier, and it looked like it wanted to strike again. Fortunately, I saw Hibiscus run forward, lunging at Vixn, and creating a good distraction. I smirked a little, thanking my Skitty silently. Then I turned my attention to Philpe, "Now, as for you. Right now, without a doubt, you are the biggest idiot on the face of the planet, you dumbass Pichu." I looked at the slash mark I had received, which was dripping blood down my arm. Damn, that was gonna leave a scar.

"Okaaaay," Philpe looked both terrified and guilty, his eyes on my cut, "So maybe I couldn't outrun that thing… what is it, anyway?"

"Damn straight you couldn't. I barely can myself," I replied harshly, "As for what it is, let me get you up to speed. That, my little Pichu fugitive, is Jailbot Vixn, a clone of myself and the robot Jailbot. Currently it is on a rampage and wants to kill me. You are now up to speed." I smirked slightly, even though I was still aching. Philpe blinked slowly, taking that in.

"Well, I guess I was correct in my assumptions," he said.

"I guess you were," I replied. I turned my head to watch Vixn continued to get rid of the distraction Hibiscus had created, "Now, I need a way to shut her down for good…"

"Hey, can I help?" I heard Philpe ask. I looked back at him blankly.

"What can you do?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I can strike when you least exact it," he said. There was a brief moment of silence between us after he said that as I stared at him. Suddenly he shouted, "LEAST EXPECT IT!" I shot back.

"Hmm… maybe that could be an asset," I said, keeping a watch on Vixn out of the corner of my eye, "But, you can help me on only one condition."

"What?" Philpe looked confused.

"You get your ass out of Superjail when we're done with this mess so I don't have to worry anymore," I said, keeping my voice sharp and (well, what I thought of as) commanding.

Philpe looked slightly troubled by my offer. He stared at the ground for a moment. I could hear Vixn's chainsaw roar from nearby.

"Can we hurry up with the decision making, _please_?" I snarled, tapping my foot impatiently. Philpe shook his head furiously, and then looked at me.

"Okay, you win; I'll help, and then I'll leave," he said, "Besides, it's no fun just hiding in all the small places so I don't get caught." I snickered.

"That's the spirit!" I chirped, thrusting my fist in the air. Okay, now that that was said and done, it was time to focus on the main objective. I turned to look at the still attacking Vixn, "Now, how to stop that thing… any ideas, Philpe?" I got no answer in response. Blinking, I turned to look at the Pichu.

To my surprise, he was gone. I gritted my teeth; he better have left to prepare for his "striking when you least expect it" and not to go hide in the air vents again. If he was doing that I'd track him down and personally rip him in half.

Ah well, I decided, it was better to focus on the current matter. Speak of the devil; I turned my attention back to Vixn, who I realized was still fighting Hibiscus. I clenched my fists, and decided that a good start to fixing the problem was to have the Jailbot Ninetales keep its attention on me.

"Hey, you, the giant half-breed, look over here!" I called, using what Philpe had done to screw himself up: insult it.

And it worked. Vixn's attention on Hibiscus dissipated immediately, and its angry red face locked with mine. I grinned, and waved at it.

"Why are you messing around with everyone else, huh?" I snapped, "I'm the one you want, so come get me!" Jailbot Vixn let out a grinding chainsaw cry, before firing forward, all its tails swinging and swishing towards me. Okay, I got it to focus on me, now this was the hard part. What the hell was I supposed to do to stop it when it was coming right at me?!

_Um, shit, I don't think I really thought this through… _I thought as I began stepping back, every so often wincing sharply from my arm; my eyes wide as Vixn pummeled forward.

"Nice one, Dana," I breathed to myself as I continued walking back. Ah man, I really should have thought about this more. What was going to do?!

Just then, right before Vixn was about to swing an axe tail at me, a stream of water launched out, striking the clone on her side and making her tumble to the ground. She shrieked in pain, a sound that reminded me of an overheating machine. I blinked.

"That was brilliant, Dana!" Kona suddenly cheered, and I turned, realizing he was the one who had launched the water. He and my other Pokemon had clustered to the side.

"What did I do?" I asked. As far as I was concerned, I just cornered myself in an attempt to go one-on-one with the Jailbot Ninetales.

"You made yourself a distraction, so we helped you out a little," Rex explained, "That monster forgot about us, making it a perfect time for a surprise attack." I titled my head, and realization that my poor attempt at fighting my clone had actually turned into a great idea. Well, if that was the case, no use telling them that I was just being a moron. I coughed, and straightened up my posture.

"Um, yes, yes, that was EXACTLY how I wanted my _marvelous_ plan to go!" I said, and grinned sheepishly.

"Of _course_it was…" Emily muttered. I noticed she was glancing at the blood down my arm, licking her lips. I glared at her, but decided not to go into that. Instead, I turned my attention to Vixn, who was still struggling to get up. The water really did some damage.

Wow, my Whirlpool really messed that thing up bad," Kona commented, "I mean, more so than how it messes up other Fire types…" My eyes suddenly widened as it all clicked into place.

"…that's because it's not just Fire…" I said quietly. My Pokemon looked at me.

"What do you mean?" Kona asked.

"I mean, that Ninetales is made of Jailbot too," I clarified, "Who's a robot, made of _metal_. So, that would make Jailbot Vixn, who picked up my Fire type and Jailbot's metal attributes, a Fire/Steel type. And as we all know, that's a typing that's very susceptible to water." I grinned maniacally as my Pokemon's face lit up with realization.

"I think we just found that clones weak point," Rex said.

"Just gotta get it a little water logged," Emily added.

"Nyah Na Nah Nyah," Hibiscus chimed in. I nodded, a plan already forming in my head.

"I know what we have to do now," I said.

Just then, with a weak metallic growl, my Pokemon and I saw Vixn weakly float up. Her red features were still blazing, but the water was showing it had lasting effects. With a sharp glower in my direction, she floated up with what strength the cyborg currently had, before turning and zooming off, turning the corner and disappearing from view. It took me a moment for that to actually absorb it, but when it did, my jaw nearly dropped to the ground.

"Well look who's flying off to go luck their wounds…" Emily snorted, her ears quivering. I let lose a snarl.

"That stupid cyborg!" I growled, "I was supposed to defeat her now! Gah… now what?" I gazed angrily at the ground for several moments, until Kona spoke up.

"Um… we could just… go after her…?" he said. I thought that over for a moment, raising my head.

"That's a great idea!" I cheered. My imminent stress over this must have clouded my mind and made me unable to think of something so simple. No matter. I quickly scanned the prison yard, looking for the Warden. I spotted him quickly, the purple stood out. He appeared to be walking back from somewhere. I also noted Jailbot was gone. Putting two and two together, I got it in my head that he probably sent Jailbot off to rest or something.

"Warden!" I called to him, before pointing in the direction Vixn has taken off to, "What's down that way? Vixn took off down there." The Warden paused, folding his arms.

"There really isn't anything of interest that way," he said nonchalantly, "Just a pathway, but it doesn't go anywhere of importance…" That was all I needed to here.

"Okay, that's all I needed. Thanks!" I said, before turning and jogging towards the pathway, "And don't worry, next time you see me, Vixn will be handled!"

"…wait, what?" I heard Warden say in confusion, but I wasn't paying much attention. I was too busy following the trail of my crazy cyborg clone. In fact, it wasn't until I was halfway there did I turn to look at my Pokemon.

"Well guys, what are you waiting for?" I said to them as they began walking towards me expectantly, "We have a Jailbot Ninetales to stop."

* * *

_And the plot thickens..._

_Woo, hope you enjoyed. I had quite a good time writing this with the nice amount Vixn and Philpe action going on. No worries for you readers, next chapter has even more action, and perhaps a Twins appearance._

_So, until then, R&R please, nice reviews make me smile. ;D_


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